Priorities: Definition, Lists, & Tips

Priorities are defined as things that are regarded as more important than other things. So something that is a high-priority is more important (to us) and therefore attended to more often or carefully (or at least that’s the goal). 

But what happens if we don’t actually know what is a high priority for us? Or, what if we’re struggling to manage competing high priority things? Or, what if we’re just too plain busy to ever get to the high priority stuff? If you’re reading this, then you’re likely looking for more help setting or managing priorities. So let’s talk a bit more about those things next.

Another important priority area is regarding our families—our kids, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. What are the highest priority actions you need to take to ensure these relationships are taken care of? Your answer may differ a lot depending on your family dynamic or the relationships you have with specific family members. So take a moment to think about high-priority actions within your family. Here are some of mine.
​
Example list of priorities for family

• Set clear boundaries
• Check in during crisis times
• Chat on the phone regularly
• Share true feelings

Family relationships can be difficult for some, so make sure you prioritize actions that make them as good as possible. For example, I know that for me, setting clear boundaries is the most important thing. I have a habit of letting people walk all over me (doubly true for family) and I end up getting resentful if I’m not prioritizing that.

The life domains we’ve already talked about make up some of your priorities, but there are other important areas of life with key priorities. For example, you may have priorities related to your mental or physical health, finances, purpose, and personal growth. Here are some examples of other priorities that may be important to you.

​Example list of priorities for life

• Eating a nutritious diet
• Getting regular exercise
• Staying out of debt
• Saving enough money to buy a home
• Doing things that generate happiness
• Pursuing a mission or purpose
• Going to therapy to work on anxiety or depression
• Spending a summer in Europe
• Learning a new life skill

If you’ve thought a bit about your priorities in each of the life domains, you’re probably now wondering, How do I prioritize my priorities?! 

Well, pause here to look over or think about your top priorities in each life domain. Merge these into one long list of priorities, again putting the most important ones at the top. Now, this might not be easy. All of our priorities can seem equally important—and they may be—but do your best to order your priorities.

Don’t worry, no one else will see your list. So try not to feel guilty or worry about what anyone else thinks. Just focus on what’s really important to you. But keep in mind that your priorities can change over time, and that’s okay too.

​I’ve gotten pretty comfortable sharing all sorts of things about my well-being on this website, so here’s my top priorities list to see as an example. 

​Example list of top priorities

1. Be honest & kind
2. Grow my business
3. Overcome a long-term health issue
4. Grow my self-confidence
5. Save enough money to move near family

My current top priorities reflect my current life, and your priorities likely will too. 

So far, the way we’ve talked about priorities is a bit like an ordered list of goals. Even if we’ve managed to order our priorities, and focus on the top ones, there will inevitably come times when our top priorities will compete with each other. Here’s how:

Priorities compete for time
The most basic way that priorities compete with each other is they compete for time. There are only so many hours in the day. If we spend all day doing our top priority, then we’ll have no time for our second priority. But if we spend an equal amount of time on each priority, we’ll move forward so slowly on all of them that we may get frustrated and give up. 

I’ve found the best way to deal with this is to focus on one or two time-intensive priorities at a time. For example, growing my business and managing my health issue are both time-intensive. I’d love to spend more time with friends and go to the gym, but those things just don’t get to be top priorities right now.

Don’t forget about your second-tier priorities and make a note of them somewhere. But also it’s key not to do too many time-intensive things. This can burn us out, which is the opposite of what you want.

Priorities compete with your values
Another challenging  way that priorities compete is by pulling at different values. For example, my priority to overcome my health issue requires I eat well, sleep well, and decrease stress as much as possible. It’s consistent with my value of work-life balance. But my priority to grow my business is somewhat inconsistent with this value. It requires hard work, lots of time, and engaging in many stressful activities.

When priorities compete with values, they can be more difficult to execute. For example, many entrepreneurs work long hours and push themselves hard to grow a business. In order for my priorities not to complete with my values, I have to pursue them in ways that are consistent with my values. So I work no more than 8 hours per day, try to get some sun and exercise in the middle of the day, and set my goals according to what I know fits me. 

When looking at your priorities, try to make notes of any potential value conflicts. You may need to think about how you act on these priorities in ways that don’t conflict with your personal values.

Even when we know what our priorities are, we can sometimes have a hard time doing the things we know we should do. That’s when the Eisenhower box (see below) can come in handy. It can help show us how to stop doing the low-priority things that suck up the majority of our time.

This box breaks tasks up into Urgent/Important, Not Urgent/Important, Urgent/Not Important, & Not Urgent/ Not Important. When we know which tasks fall in which box, we can make decisions that help us better stick to our priorities. For example, we might decide to delegate cleaning the house to the kids or delegate mowing the lawn to a yard services agency. 

Another thing to consider is what things make it easier or harder for us to stick to our priorities. For example, are there people who make it difficult to stick to your priorities? Are there situations that make it hard to stick to your priorities? Or, are there things about you that make it hard to stick to your priorities? Understanding our own unique roadblocks can help us devise methods for getting around them.

For example, my husband and I both work at home. I know that if I get talking to him, I can end up spending hours just having fun with him, and my other priorities get neglected. So, we’ve set ourselves a schedule where we can only chat during established break times. Now we can both get some work done.

Another challenge I have is that I get obsessive when I’m in the middle of a project. Just as my family time can bleed into my work time, my work time bleeds into my family time. Even though I have a rule for myself that I’m not allowed to work on weekend evenings, I spent all of last weekend working on a project. By the time Monday rolled around, I was really in need of a break and had missed my opportunity to spend weekend time with loved ones. Arg!

Anyway, all this is to say that paying attention to your patterns and habits can shine a light on what you’re doing well and what needs to be structured or changed. That way, you can effectively execute your priorities.

Need some more help with goal-setting, manifesting, and working with your priorities? These articles may be helpful.