Coping Mechanisms: Definition, Examples, & Types

Learning how to effectively handle difficult moments in our lives is what healthy coping is all about. Read on to understand what coping mechanisms are, learn different types of coping, and explore examples of healthy coping skills.
​
​Before reading on, if you’re a therapist, coach, or wellness entrepreneur, be sure to grab our free Wellness Business Growth eBook to get expert tips and free resources that will help you grow your business exponentially.​​​​​​​​​

While many of us may not be new to the concept of coping, it may be helpful to discuss the psychological definition of coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are cognitive and behavioral approaches that we use to manage internal and external stressors (Algorani & Gupta, 2021).  

Let’s break this down even further to gain a better understanding of the types of stressors and approaches to coping. 

Stressors That Lead to Coping
Not all stress is created the same. While stress can generally include the physical and emotional reactions that we have in response to a challenge or stressor, where our stressors come from may differ. The two of the primary types of stressors are internal and external. 

• Internal stressors are thoughts and emotions that come from within us that can induce a stress response (Alsentali & Anshel, 2015). Some examples of internal stressors include:
• External stressors provoke a stress response from outside factors and can sometimes include situations we have no control over (Alsentali & Anshel, 2015). Some examples of external stressors include:
  • Losing a loved one
  • Being laid off from your job
  • An upcoming exam or presentation 
  • Learning you have an illness 
  • A car accident 

Approaches Used to Cope
The mechanisms we use to cope may be called approaches or techniques of how we implement our coping skills. Typically, we utilize cognitive and behavioral approaches to cope (Burns & Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991). 

Let’s illustrate these approaches through an example. Perhaps you have been swamped with work and you miss your child’s school play. You may have had the date circled on your calendar for months (or more realistically, saved as an event on your phone), but maybe you had to stay late at a meeting, and by the time you left work there was too much traffic to make the play. Your child is visibly upset at you after the play and you feel disappointed in yourself for making them feel sad. Unfortunately, you can’t go back in time and make the play. What might you do now to cope with this stressful event? 

• Cognitive approaches to coping relate to our thinking. It’s easy for us to give in to negative self-talk in a situation like this. Perhaps you catch yourself saying, “I’m a horrible parent.” This only makes you feel worse than you may already be feeling. Instead, you may want to try some positive self-talk, such as telling yourself, “Mistakes happen and I will do my best next time to make intentional time for my family.” Forgiving yourself lets you shift the focus to your actions instead of ruminating on what happened.

 

• Behavioral approaches to coping relate to our actions. You may be thinking, “Okay, I forgave myself but I still have a kid that looks up to me who is upset. Now what?” Think about what you can do to make the situation better for you and your child right now. This can play out in several different ways. One example could look like apologizing to them for missing the play, asking them what you can do that might make them feel better right now, and then carrying out the action they suggested. Maybe they ask you to spend time with them by getting ice cream before you head home, so you do just that. And next time, you seek out your supervisor in advance to ask them if you can head out of the office on time before the next play. 

We may never be able to fully rid ourselves of stressors, no matter how resilient we are, but we do have the power to manage stress in healthy ways. Let’s take a look at some of the primary types of coping mechanisms that may be helpful to incorporate into your own coping toolkit. 

Problem-Focused Coping refers to an actionable way to handle a stressful situation, much like the behavioral approach to coping we just talked about. This technique allows us to focus on tackling the problem itself. Typically, this coping technique is employed when we have control over a situation (Baker & Berenbaum, 2007). Here are some examples:  

• Feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities? Try creating a schedule or to-do list.
• Dealing with loneliness after a break-up? Try reaching out to some close friends or family members for social support. 
• Struggling with work-life balance? Try talking to your employer about how to set up a more flexible schedule or healthy boundaries.
• Stressed out about failing a class? Try delegating more hours of study time or forming a study group. 
• Feeling extra sluggish due to a less nutritious diet? Try meeting with a nutritionist or primary care provider for meals that are both easy to make and healthy.

 
Emotion-Focused Coping is managing your internal feelings about a stressful situation, similar to the cognitive approach mentioned above. This technique allows us to focus on ourselves and our emotions about the situation. While we can use emotion-focused coping techniques for all types of stressors, this technique may become particularly helpful when we do not have control over a situation (Baker & Berenbaum, 2007). Here are some examples:  
​

• Received a parking ticket? Try a quick 10-minute guided meditation to breathe through any additional stress or anger the situation may have caused.
• Got into a small argument with a friend? Try journaling about your feelings regarding the incident. 
• Didn’t get the job you wanted or into the college you were hoping for? Try to practice reappraising the situation from a negative one to a positive. For example, if you were rejected from a school you had your eyes set on, could there be a possibility that you end up getting into a different, better school? This is not always easy, but trying to look at a situation from an alternative perspective may be worthwhile. 
• Suffering from a loss of a loved one? Grief looks different and takes various amounts of time for all of us. Take all the time needed to feel all the emotions that come up for you or talk about these emotions with a mental health practitioner (e.g., a grief counselor). ​

When we deal with stressful situations, some of us may feel encouraged to deal with the problem right away, while some of us may want to evade the situation altogether. There is no one correct method to cope with life’s stressors, but it is important to be aware of distinct coping styles. Let’s take a look at two primary styles of coping.

• Active Coping is coping with a stressor head-on. Whether you decide to focus on the problem (problem-focused) or how you feel about the situation (emotion-focused), an active coping style is an attempt to cope with the stressor and try to reduce the effect it has on you (Holahan & Moos, 1987). 

• Avoidant Coping is exactly what it sounds like and involves us avoiding the situation that is eliciting a stress response or ignoring our feelings about the stressor altogether (Holahan & Moos, 1987).

Coping Styles Example
I like to think of this coping style as akin to the “laundry chair” in my bedroom. You know what I mean right? Somewhere in our homes, we all have this chair (or couch or treadmill or spot on the floor)that we throw random items on until we have to deal with them later. For me, it’s where I put my clothes that need to be folded, clothes that are folded but not put away yet, purses that I’ve taken out of the closet that need to go back, and sometimes even shopping bags with the items that I haven’t yet taken out of their packaging. 

Sometimes this “laundry chair” is perfectly clean, but one by one I add things to it until it becomes an overwhelming mountain of items that may or may not lead to some tears when I finally decide to clean. Similar to dealing with stressors, an avoidant coping style may start as harmless until the stressful situations keep adding on, leading to a backlog of emotions that still need to be dealt with. 

Some examples of avoidant coping may include not talking about the stressful situation, distracting yourself from the stressor such as by binge-watching a TV show, or escaping by resorting to alcohol or drug use.

Before we get to specific coping mechanisms for various types of stress or mental health conditions, let’s elaborate a bit more on the types of coping mechanisms. So far, we have learned about various coping approaches, techniques, and styles. Here is a rundown of two dominant coping mechanism types: healthy and unhealthy.
​

• Healthy Coping is utilizing a coping strategy that allows us to respond to a stressful situation in a healthy capacity. When struggling with a stressor or a challenge, healthy coping mechanisms may not instantly feel gratifying, but they can promote positive long-term change (Stallman et al., 2021). Some healthy coping examples include:
  • Talking about your problems with loved ones
  • Eating well and exercising regularly
  • Reaching out to a mental health professional for extra support
  • Self-soothing techniques such as meditation or journaling
  • Using problem-solving skills to address the situation 
• Unhealthy Coping, on the other hand, is employing strategies that respond to stressors in an unhealthy or harmful way. While unhealthy coping mechanisms might offer comfort instantaneously, they tend to lead to negative consequences down the road (Stallman et al., 2021). Some unhealthy coping examples include:
  • Procrastinating on addressing the problem or avoiding it altogether
  • Overeating or undereating, and sleeping too much or too little
  • Partaking in excessive alcohol or drug usage
  • Withdrawing from social situations
  • Self-harm

Now that we have set the blueprint for all different types of coping strategies and methods, let’s talk about specific coping mechanisms for particular situations. The following sections will offer a list of several different types of coping mechanisms which include problem-focused and emotion-focused coping tips. 

The primary goal of coping with stress is finding healthy ways to de-stress (Scheier, Weintraub, & Carver, 1986). Keep reading for some examples that you may want to try if you are overwhelmed or stressed out.

• Laugh it out. Humor is an excellent way to process stress. While dealing with stress can be challenging at times, finding time to laugh with loved ones, watch something funny, or make jokes can help us cultivate a lighter mood. This alteration in mood may help us look at our stressors from a more positive perspective.

 

• Make a schedule. Feeling overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities? You’re far from being alone. Whether you are trying to balance parenthood, school, work, social life, or even something exciting such as a wedding or vacation, making a schedule to keep track of all you must get done can be a wonderful way to relieve stress. 

 

• Practice self-care. Taking care of ourselves looks different for all of us. Although our lives may seldom allow time for us to practice self-care, it is beneficial for us to make the time to do so, even if just for a few minutes every day. Some examples of self-care might include painting or writing in a journal; reading a book or watching a TV show; or taking care of our bodies with a relaxing bath or nightly skincare routine. ​​

Ever experience your heart racing too fast, your palms starting to sweat, and your mind feeling overwhelmed with worry? This tense combination of symptoms can be a result of feeling anxious. Regardless of whether you’re experiencing fear or worrying about an upcoming event, you can try out these tips that may help you cope with anxious thoughts (Savitsky et al., 2020).  

• Meditation or breathing exercises. When I experience anxiety, my thoughts and my heart are in a race, competing to see which of the two can go faster. If my anxiety gets too overwhelming, I do grounding techniques. Research suggests that one way to help ground yourself when feeling anxious is to center your focus on your breathing or try a meditation practice, rather than ruminating or cycling through the thoughts that are currently in your head. There are several deep breathing techniques that you can utilize. One example is box breathing. Interested in this? Try it with me.

 

• Step 1: inhale for four seconds
• Step 2: hold your breath for another four seconds
• Step 3: exhale the air for a final four seconds
• Step 4: keep repeating steps 1-3 until you feel calmer

 

• Cognitive reframing. Let’s say you receive the unfortunate news that you were laid off from your job. You have a family to provide for and bills to pay, and this sudden change is eliciting an anxious stress response. How will you make ends meet without an income? Perhaps you think to yourself, “This is the worst thing that could happen.” This is an example of catastrophic thinking. It’s incredibly easy for our minds to think of the worst-case scenario when a stressful situation like this appears. The practice of cognitive reframing (also called reappraisal), however, encourages you to challenge your thoughts and help restructure a negative thought into a more positive one. Instead, you may try telling yourself, “This situation sucks and it feels very difficult right now, but I know I will get through it.” Reframing harmful thoughts can help us then change behavior that can lead to a better outcome. 
• Aromatherapy. Being in touch with our core five senses is another grounding technique that can support coping with anxiety. Aromatherapy, in particular, appeals to our sense of smell. Research has shown that the same system that helps us regulate smell can also play a role in regulating emotions. One way to practice aromatherapy is to smell essential oils. For anxiety specifically, lavender oil is a popular scent for relieving anxious thoughts and reducing overall stress. Next time you’re out shopping, consider searching nearby for essential oils that seem to calm you. ​

If you’re dealing with clinical depression or experiencing sporadic depressive episodes, you may know the feeling of hopelessness, fatigue, and a lack of motivation all too well. Aside from the emotional symptoms that can be present during depression, you may also feel certain physical side effects such as a change in sleeping or eating habits (Aselton, 2012). Let’s take a look at some ways we can help mitigate our symptoms of depression. 

• Keep a routine. Ever felt like laying in bed all day to deal with sadness you’re experiencing? I’ve been there too. Although sleeping under a warm blanket, with loads of junk food and a fully loaded Netflix queue next to me was my go-to depression coping strategy, I quickly felt even more miserable. While indulging in junk food and binge-watching is a fun activity from time to time, too much of it can point to an unhealthy and avoidant coping style. Instead, you may find it helpful for you, in the long run, to stick to a daily routine. Whether it includes a weekly cleaning schedule, a daily self-care routine, or even just meal-prepping your food, having a regular routine can help balance your moods. 

 

• Stay physically active. Research shows that moving our bodies, for even as low as 15 minutes a day, can support our mental well-being. If you’re in the midst of a depressive episode, try doing some light exercise whether it be at the gym or a walk outside in the fresh air. Exercise helps release endorphins, which are “happiness hormones” that help with lifting moods. 

 

• Organize your environment. Remember my “laundry chair?” Turns out that clutter tends to accrue when we are feeling overwhelmed with stress, anxiety, or depression. When struggling with a depressive episode, we need to have a place of refuge and solace in our homes. If our homes feel disorganized or overly messy, it may increase feelings of depression, lack of focus, and fatigue. If you start to notice your laundry chair, or any space in your home, increase in clutter, try finding time to organize your space. Such a practice may allow you to feel more in control of your space and provide a sense of accomplishment, which could help with coping with depression. 

Grief can be the result of several life changes, such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, moving from your home, or even graduating from school. Grief is our inherent response to a loss of some kind and healing from loss is not a linear process (Root & Exline, 2014). As you go through the highs and lows of your grief process, you may want to be mindful of some of these coping mechanisms. 

• Seek out social support. Dealing with loss can feel isolating. Asking for support from loved ones is a key coping mechanism to process grief and bereavement. Psychologists advise that having a social network during tough times helps us feel more capable of processing grief, improves our self-esteem, and can reduce feelings of loneliness and persistent sadness. 

 

• Remember to eat well. Like depression, grief can also alter our routines, especially our sleep and eating habits. A balanced diet is especially beneficial for a healthy immune system and being able to cope with major life stressors. When we experience grief, it may be hard to hold ourselves accountable to eat and be active, so it may be helpful to rely on your social network and request them to support you in maintaining a healthy diet. 

 

• Try professional help or a support group. When we go through unique experiences of grief, it may be helpful to seek out a licensed professional or other community members who are going through a similar grief process. If you are going through a sudden and shocking life-changing event, you may find it advantageous to ask your support system or primary care provider for additional resources such as a therapist or support group to support you during this difficult time.​​

Looking for words of encouragement to deal with life’s challenges? Here are some wise words that may offer you some perspective.

• “One of life’s best coping mechanisms is to know the difference between an inconvenience and a problem.” – Robert Fulghum
• “You never really know what’s coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity.” – Alysha Speer
• “Two words will help you cope when you run low on hope: accept and trust.” – Charles R. Swindoll 
• “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. ” – Chinese Proverb 
• “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

• ​Algorani, E. B., & Gupta, V. (2021). Coping mechanisms. In StatPearls [Internet]. StatPearls Publishing. 
• Alsentali, A. M., & Anshel, M. H. (2015). Relationship between Internal and External Acute Stressors and Coping Style. Journal of Sport Behavior, 38(4). 
• Aselton, P. (2012). Sources of stress and coping in American college students who have been diagnosed with depression. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 25(3), 119-123.
• Baker, J. P., & Berenbaum, H. (2007). Emotional approach and problem-focused coping: A comparison of potentially adaptive strategies. Cognition and emotion, 21(1), 95-118.
• Burns, D. D., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1991). Coping styles, homework compliance, and the effectiveness of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Journal of Consulting and clinical Psychology, 59(2), 305.
• Glass, N. (2015). Coping among trauma-affected youth: a qualitative study. Conflict and health, 9(1), 1-12.
• Holahan, C. J., & Moos, R. H. (1987). Personal and contextual determinants of coping strategies. Journal of personality and social psychology, 52(5), 946. 
• Root, B. L., & Exline, J. J. (2014). The role of continuing bonds in coping with grief: Overview and future directions. Death Studies, 38(1), 1-8.
• Savitsky, B., Findling, Y., Ereli, A., & Hendel, T. (2020). Anxiety and coping strategies among nursing students during the covid-19 pandemic. Nurse Education in Practice, 46, 102809.
• Scheier, M. F., Weintraub, J. K., & Carver, C. S. (1986). Coping with stress: divergent strategies of optimists and pessimists. Journal of personality and social psychology, 51(6), 1257.
• Stallman, H. M., Beaudequin, D., Hermens, D. F., & Eisenberg, D. (2021). Modelling the relationship between healthy and unhealthy coping strategies to understand overwhelming distress: A Bayesian network approach. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 3, 100054.