The Four Stages of Enlightenment

It wasn’t until I found the Buddhist maps of enlightenment (e.g., Ingram, 2018; Sayadaw, 2016; Schanilec, n.d.) that I was able to understand why my awakening experience was different from other people’s—I was just in a different stage. By having a map, we can understanding where we are and where we’re going, and this makes it easier to seek out the support we need to keep moving forward.

Of course, we have already experienced identity shifts many times prior to awakening. But, during these earlier shifts, we always expanded within the self-concept. In other words, we still felt like a self; that self just changed its characteristics. In the past, we may have added to our identity or let go of parts of our identity that no longer served us—for example, maybe we stopped seeing ourselves as weak, stupid, or unlovable. 

Once we awaken, however, we begin to move beyond the self-concept. Rather than changing individual parts of the self-concept, fundamental parts of the self-concept are seen not to exist at all. For example, maybe we see that we are not the body, the mind, or the doer of our actions. Although the dissolution of a part of the self-concept is a huge deal, and it changes the way we see everything, this is just the very first step in the very first stage of enlightenment.

Disidentitification
As awakening takes hold, we zoom out and begin seeing our experiences from a wider perspective. Some people describe this as seeing reality from the perspective of ‘witnessing awareness’, the ‘higher self’, or the ‘I am’ sense. As a psychologist, I prefer the term ‘awareness’. So I’ll use the term ‘awareness’ throughout the rest of this book to refer to this zoomed-out perspective.

This is a really important shift where, instead of viewing the world through our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, we begin to witness our experiences from a more expanded or non-attached perspective. At this point, we begin to see that our awareness (or this more expanded part of us) observes all of our other psychological experiences—experiences such as concepts, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, behaviors, social experiences, and physical experiences. We then begin to disidentify with all these experiences.

It’s important to note that many of us will now re-identify with this expanded part of us. At this point, it is not at all uncommon to develop a spiritual ego or become attached to an identity as a higher being, soul, awake self, or spacious awareness. This new identity can be helpful, temporarily, but it often becomes a significant hurdle later on. So, it’s best to remain as humble as we can about any new identities that form at this point. We have indeed glimpsed true Reality, but at this first stage of enlightenment, nothing is what it seems to be. Soon enough, if we keep moving through the stages of enlightenment, we’ll discover that what seemed to be real here was just another layer of illusions. 

The Fullness Phase
Next, most of us enter ‘the fullness phase’. This phase is sort of like a honeymoon period. During this phase, life feels ‘full’—full of experiences of joy, bliss, connection, gratitude, completeness, unity, synchronicity, mystical experiences, and sometimes even ‘supernatural’ abilities. Often, we will feel experiences of rapture—goosebumps, exhilaration, and happiness unlike anything we’ve ever known. Overall, we tend to feel both infinitely free yet connected to everything, simultaneously. 

This phase may last minutes, days, weeks, months, or possibly years. Some of us may even begin to think we’re enlightened because we are truly happy. But this phase is simply a part of the awakening process. Even though we are now awake to some extent, we are still quite far away from full enlightenment and the end of suffering. Still, this glimpse shows us what is possible and that we are on the right track. It also serves as a carrot at the end of a stick that can help us keep moving forward through the difficult challenges that are up ahead.

The Emptiness Phase
If we continue moving forward, the fullness phase is generally followed by an emptiness phase. All the joyful, connected experiences vanish, and we often experience the deep suffering of separateness. It’s as if the peaceful, beautiful stream that we were joyfully floating in turns into a rocky, raging river. 

Instead of feeling completely full and connected with life, we now feel completely empty and disconnected from life. We may, at some point, have the realization that “I am nothing”. In other words, we see that the “I” that we thought we were doesn’t exist. This may evoke considerable sadness, depression, or nihilism, and we often grieve the loss of our former self.

Emotional Processing
Throughout awakening, the psychological material that we have spent our lives avoiding, suppressing, and repressing starts to come into awareness. Because we can no longer hide from ourselves, our old traumas, repressed emotions, and unhealed emotional issues can no longer be avoided.

We may sob heavily for months as we finally acknowledge, experience, and accept the strongest and deepest pains that we have been carrying. Although we will likely feel depressed at times, it is ultimately a release—a catharsis that often feels like a huge relief once it’s over.

We can clearly see that ‘bad’ experiences aren’t actually bothersome—what’s bothersome is that our mind is constantly trying to push and pull on these experiences. For example, something happens in our life, then the mind uses its concepts to label the situation as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. If the situation is labeled as ‘bad’, then the mind tries to push it away. This resistance or pushing away is what actually feels bad. 

If the situation is labeled as ‘good’, then the mind attaches or clings to it and tries to pull it closer. Because no experience is permanent, the ‘good’ situation eventually ends. So the clinging, attachment, or pulling in of something that can never last also feels bad.

As we continue to witness this parade of horribles, we slowly gain insight into attachment and aversion.

Letting Go of Outcomes
As we continue to observe attachment, aversion, and self, we begin to let go of all three processes, a little bit at a time. Every time the mind tricks us into ‘wanting’ or ‘not wanting’, we witness ourselves suffer. This experience is often so painful that at a certain point, it just becomes totally obvious that it’s not worth it. Although our minds will try to keep pushing and pulling for a while—usually out of habit—we eventually learn how to stop attaching and avoiding.

Practically speaking, we might stop caring about outcomes. For example, if the bus never comes and we miss our flight, it’s okay because we are not attached to things going as planned. If someone yells at us about something, it’s okay because we weren’t expecting them to react differently. We still feel emotions, get triggered, and have expectations about life, but we don’t blame others for our own experiences. Instead, we use our upsets as opportunities to look inward and discover what mental processes are still causing our suffering.

Staying Vigilant
By this point, the self has weakened significantly. Rather than throwing massive temper tantrums all day long, like it used to, it simply broods quietly in the corner of awareness. However, it still has a few tricks up its sleeve, and it builds up strength to pounce whenever we let our guard down. 

Just when we feel settled, thoughts will swoop in and try to convince us that we still need them—that we will DIE without them. This can happen many, many times. In fact, most of us will likely have to witness and experience all of our old triggers, allowing them into awareness fully so that we can prove to ourselves that, no, they won’t kill us. 

Meaninglessness & Low Motivation
As this process gains momentum, we may experience a pronounced dip in motivation. It turns out that ‘wanting’ and ‘not wanting’ drove the majority of our behavior. At this point, life can feel meaningless. It can be difficult to work, hard to engage in social interactions, and even boring to do many of the things that we used to enjoy. During this stage, I stopped exercising, seeing friends, and even going on vacations. It was just really hard to find a reason to do anything. Luckily, this phase passed, and everything continued on as normal.

Belief In The Self-Concept
At this stage, we will still feel like we are a separate self—we still have a few sticky aspects of self-concept that we are attached to—but the belief that we are a separate self is gone. As we continue to progress, this belief will work its way into our thoughts, emotions, actions, social experiences, and finally, at the end of the third stage of enlightenment, our physical sensation of ‘me’.

Although letting go of attraction, aversion, and the idea of self is often difficult, everything begins to change for the better. If there is no self, then we don’t have to feel guilty for our actions. We don’t have to worry about the future. We don’t even have to make the “right” decisions. If we can make it through this stage, we find that things are much easier and we are much freer than ever before.

The Roller Coaster Phase
As we begin to be with our experiences more fully, we’ll start to notice how we bounce back and forth between opposites. For example, we begin teeter-tottering between emptiness and fullness, one day feeling deep suffering and the next day feeling ecstatic bliss. Life is now trying to help us resolve duality by showing us that all dualities—like fullness and emptiness—are two sides of the same coin. At times, we will experience the highest highs, and at other times, we will experience the lowest lows. We do this for as long as it takes for us to realize that they are the same thing.

By this point, all of our experiences seem to be happening on their own, outside of our control. Although we continue to observe whatever comes up, we no longer need to exert effort to engage in practices like meditation or self-inquiry—we no longer believe that there is a self that could do so anyway. Whatever happens, happens on its own. We’re simply strapped into the roller coaster of life, and we go wherever it takes us. 

Paradoxical Reality
We’ve now passively experienced both fullness and emptiness. We then teeter-tottered back and forth between these experiences until we saw that they are the same thing. This may sound paradoxical, and it is, but at this point, opposing poles of experience begin to merge. ‘Positive’ experiences and ‘negative’ experiences begin to look the same. Pleasant and unpleasant emotions start to feel the same. Internal (sensations) and external (perceptions) feel the same. Without the mind constantly labeling, conceptualizing, and trying to control everything, we begin to experience oneness, nonduality, or the interpenetration of everythingness. 

Nonduality
Eventually, we can clearly see that the mind splits reality into many parts, creating innumerable dualities out of one thing and labeling it as many different sets of two things. It is only when the mind labels, categorizes, and conceptualizes things that they seem dual. In reality, everything is nondual. 

As we see through more and more of our mental processes, we begin to experience reality as it truly is. In other words, we start to see how pairs of opposites—like good and bad, right and wrong, here and there, now and then—are actually made of the same neutral, nondual “stuff”. 

With continued observation, we see through even more subtle concepts—like time and space—that seem to make our reality. Because we are now experiencing our 5 senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—without the mental labels that we are used to, reality can actually start to look different. For example, the thoughts that label things as ‘here’ or ‘there’ may suddenly vanish and, as a result, things that used to appear far away look incredibly close. Although nonduality can be intense at times, it is generally incredibly fun, interesting, and beautiful. 

Observing The Sensation of “Me”
As we continue to stay fully present with our experiences, they will get more and more subtle. What we used to call ‘negative emotions’ don’t arise much anymore, but underneath, we discover the even more subtle sensations that still seem to create suffering. We are now like The Princess and The Pea, an old tale about a princess who could feel a single pea under 20 mattresses. We can feel absolutely everything. 

At some point, we will notice the sensation that seems to provide proof that we are a separate self. In the body, it may feel like a contraction, a feeling of holding the self together, a clenched fist in the gut (Adyashanti, 2009), a knot (Ingram, 2018), or even a taste (Michelberger, 2022). To keep moving forward, we just have to stay present and move towards these uncomfortable sensations—that is, we acknowledge, experience, and accept them over and over again until they reveal what they really are.

Existential Fear
As the final bits of the self dissolve, many of us will come face-to-face with existential fear, or the fear of death, annihilation, or oblivion. As we approach existential fear, it might almost feel like we’re being sucked into nothingness. Indeed, the self-concept is now facing its own death. 

Most of us will resist and back away—perhaps a few times—terrified that if we allow this fear in, we will literally vanish. But once we fully surrender to our own existential fear—once we acknowledge it and experience it fully—we will have experiential knowing that it was all in our minds. What we once thought to be the great and powerful Oz was nothing more than a little old man pulling strings. As a result, fear can never trick us the way it used to. 

This realization creates a previously unimaginable level of openness and acceptance. Now, we no longer want to turn away from any experiences; we want to turn towards them. If we can simply get the courage to look at the monsters under our bed, POOF, they disappear.

Core Suffering
If we keep digging deeper, we will finally find our core suffering, resistance, or restlessness (Schanilec, n.d.). This “core suffering” is held together by the subtlest belief of all—that anything can be other than how it is. As we sit with this belief, and the sensations that it creates, our core suffering seems to flicker on and off. Thus, we may tiptoe in and out of enlightenment for awhile. Once we fully accept that nothing could ever be any different than exactly how it is, the entire story of the self dissolves permanently. Reality just is what it is. There is nothing left to resist and no self left to resist, so suffering stops. Game over.

Full Enlightenment
​We were never actually separate from the unshakable peace of Reality; we only thought we were. So there are no big celebrations or mystical experiences at the gate to full enlightenment. The only difference now is that the self, and the mind that created it, are no longer clouding our view of Reality as it really is.

• ​Adyashanti. (2009). The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment. ReadHowYouWant. com.
• Ingram, Dl. (2018). Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book – Revised and Expanded Edition. Aeon Books.
• ​Michelberger, C. (2022). Finding Awakening: A No-Nonsense Buddhist Path to Peace and the End of Suffering. Finding Awakening Press.
• Sayadaw, M. (2016). Manual of insight. Simon and Schuster.
• Schanilec, K. (n.d.) The Ninth Fetter: Restlessness and Compensation. Retrieved June 12, 2025, from https://www.simplytheseen.com/9th-fetter.html
• ​Wilber, K. (2007). Integral spirituality: A startling new role for religion in the modern and postmodern world. Shambhala Publications.