9 Ways to Have a Better Relationship With Your Phone

March 8, 2026 5 Min Read

9 ways to have a better relationship with your phone

Let’s be honest. Most of us have an unhealthy relationship with our phones and other tech toys. Here’s how we can build a better relationship with our phones so we can live happier, healthier lives.

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Did you know that Americans check their phones approximately 47 times a day? Half of us check our phones in the middle of the night. And one in ten adults looks at their cell phone during sex.

Wow! We must really love our phones.

Luckily, I’m not the only one who thinks our relationships with our phones have gotten a little out of hand. (For more information, see my book Outsmart your smartphone.)

What is your relationship with your phone?

Maybe you check your phone for an important reason, only to find yourself caught up in messages, social media, or videos. Suddenly the hours pass and you feel dissatisfied and slightly depressed, but you don’t know why. Or maybe you pick up the phone to make sense of your life, chanceor something like that positive feeling. If this sounds like you, it’s time to take a break from your phone conversations.

But that’s easier said than done, right? We rely on tools on our phone (like maps), basic communication (like texts), and, well, just about everything else on our phones. To overcome these challenges, here are some tips:

Do you go out with your cell phone?

1. Think about how you use your phone

For a day or two, just pay attention to your relationship with your phone Gain clarity of how your phone makes you feel. What emotions do you feel before using your phone? What about after using your phone? Who are you with? What are you doing? Where are you? What do you do when you pick up the phone? Are there certain apps that you use the most? How long do you let yourself be rocked? Do you have trouble focusing your attention on anything else?

What could your answers tell you about why you use your phone? Ask yourself: is this really how you want to use this time? Does this really make you happy? Or are you, like most people, addicted to a rectangular object that makes you unhappy?

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2. Try to satisfy your cravings

When we’re addicted to something (like our phones), quitting cold turkey can lead to some pretty massive cravings. One way to overcome this urge is to understand it better. Ask yourself: why do you want to pick up the phone now? What emotions do you hope to experience? Or, Are you trying to avoid an emotional experience?? Instead of just picking up the phone Sit with your feelings and see if you can identify exactly why you’re picking up your phone.

3. Set your lock screen as a reminder to stop mindlessly staring at your phone

They discovered that using the phone to make yourself happy doesn’t work. In fact, it makes you unhappy. Now you’ve decided to take a break from your phone calls (or maybe just use your phone less).

Is it harder than you thought to ignore your unpleasant urges? Then set your lock screen to “Outsmart your phone” with a reminder image.

Why we should rethink our relationship with our phones

4. Create a trigger

Ok, so you ignore your lock screen and reminder. It sounds like you need an extra layer of defense. If this sounds like you, attach something to the outside of your phone that will slow you down when reaching for your phone, like: B. a sticker or a rubber band.

5. Consider deleting social media apps from your phone

Social media – and other browsing apps – can be the biggest time waster on your phone. When they are not there, there is less temptation to pick up the phone. So consider deleting social media apps from your phone.

I did this years ago. I just tell people I don’t have that Facebook or Snapchat on my phone and they know they can text me. It really doesn’t matter and it saves me from making crazy expenses. too much time on social media.

If this seems too extreme, try moving your apps somewhere other than the home screen or switching your phone’s display to grayscale. At least you won’t be as easily drawn to the glowing app buttons.

6. Change where you charge your phone

If you charge your phone where you sleep, you’ll be tempted to pick it up while he’s sleeping. sleepor maybe even have sex. That’s why one of the simplest tips for reducing the time you spend on your phone is to charge your phone outside the bedroom. Do you use your phone as an alarm? So get yourself a regular alarm clock! It’s worth it.

7. Establish phone-free zones and times

Some people don’t allow phones in their homes. Others don’t allow phones in the bathroom. Is there a room you no longer want to call? So do it like this. Personally, that’s not really an option in my small Bay Area apartment. Instead, I have phone-free moments. This may sound strange, but I don’t take my phone with me when I go on errands like shopping, going to the post office, or picking up takeaway food. It’s only a small amount of phone-free time, but I find it quite liberating.

8. Find more things you like to do

Remember: the time you spend playing games on your phone is the time you’re not spending doing other things that make your life more interesting and meaningful. Unfortunately, we often turn to our phones when we can’t immediately think of other activities we enjoy. To get out of this difficult situation, start Think about fun activities you could do So you don’t get bored during your phone break. Instead, you’ll be happy to have time for all these cool things.

9. Check-in with yourself often

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9 Ways to Have a Better Relationship With Your Phone