Cognitive Distortions: Definition, List, & Examples
Cognitive Distortions: Definition, List, & Examples
Learn the definition of cognitive distortions, see examples, and understand how to challenge them.
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Try to recall the last time you were waiting for a friend, or maybe your partner, to join you for dinner. As you sat at the restaurant, resisting the urge to check your phone, did you have a thought such as, “they always do this”, or “they’re never on time”? If so, you were experiencing a cognitive distortion – an immediate and inaccurate thought about a situation. |
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What Are Cognitive Distortions? (A Definition)
Cognitive distortions are unrealistic or irrational thoughts. Typically, they are exaggerated and negative perceptions of our lives or the world. For reasons you’ll see below, all of us experience cognitive distortions – they are so common and unavoidable that therapists often call them “automatic thoughts.”
Sometimes we can catch a cognitive distortion as it’s happening or recognize it in hindsight; often we carry on with our lives without recognizing the inaccuracy of the thought. The more that we perceive these thoughts as truthful, the more difficult our lives are likely to be, as these distortions make us see the world as a more negative or dangerous place than it really is.
Video: Cognitive Distortions: Definition, List, & Examples
Causes of Cognitive Distortions
While we can change our thoughts to change our emotions (more on that below), it is also natural and automatic for us to think after we feel. Emotions are generated by older and more primitive parts of the brain than the more cognition-oriented brain regions, and those older parts evolved not to be logical, but to keep us alive (Gilbert, 1998). Most cognitive distortions are related to experiences of negative emotions, such as feeling threatened (Beck, 1963), and with good reason: we have evolved to make quick decisions about whether we are safe, so we can take quick action to protect ourselves.
Cognitive Distortion Benefits
In other words, our brains evolved to bypass slow, logical thinking when immediate, gut reactions are required (Krebs & Denton, 1997). This is especially true when our brains aren’t fully developed; in fact, it is as children that we first develop these cognitive distortions (Beck, 1963). Do you remember all the “rules” you learned about gender roles growing up? If you were raised as a boy and knew that “boys don’t cry” – an example of all-or-nothing-thinking – then you probably felt shame or guilt when you did cry. We often carry these cognitive distortions from our childhoods into the present day.
Types of Cognitive Distortions
- All-or-nothing thinking: Remember the example in the opening paragraph of this article? All-or-nothing thoughts (sometimes called black-and-white thinking, too) categorize the world into absolutes, leaving out the possibility of any gray area.
- Mindreading: When we mindread, we assume that somebody else is having certain thoughts, often negative, about us. Anytime you’ve decided your partners, supervisor, or even just a person on the street is judging you – without consulting them to find out whether it’s true – you’re engaged in mindreading.
- Catastrophizing: When you create a disaster scenario in your head, based on little or no concrete evidence that the event will actually happen, you are catastrophizing.
- Emotional reasoning: We engage in emotional reasoning when our thoughts are driven by our emotions, not objective facts.
- Labeling: When you classify yourself as a categorically bad or unworthy person because of one event that happened, you are engaged in labeling.
- Mental filtering: Cognitive distortions can be driven by focusing only on negative information and ignoring or devaluing positive information.
- Overgeneralization: Similar to catastrophizing, overgeneralizing means expecting more bad things to happen because one negative event has occurred.
- Personalization: The act of blaming yourself for events that you aren’t (fully) responsible for is called personalization.
- Should statements: Thoughts based on the idea that the world “should” or “shouldn’t” be a certain way are cognitive distortions, too.
- Disqualifying the positive: When you dismiss positive things that have happened, you are distorting the way things are.
Video: Negative Thoughts & How To Get Out of Your Head
Examples of Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive Distortion Example: All-or-Nothing Thinking
As a couple therapist, I am very accustomed to hearing all-or-nothing thinking when couples describe conflicts in their relationship. Phrases such as “you never listen to me” or “you don’t care about our kids’ education” are surprisingly common in these discussions. Maybe the upset partner was painfully ignored on a certain occasion, but they are not completely ignored by their partner. All-or-nothing thinking leaves out the possibility that the other person could “often” or even “occasionally” fold the laundry, make a reservation for dinner, or remember your birthday.
Cognitive Distortion Example: Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning can be a harder one to catch in action. One example, which is common in people experiencing depression, is saying something like, “I just don’t think it will work out.” Often, this statement is based not on any concrete evidence, but rather on the person’s mood.
Our brains are great at combining cognitive distortions, too. Imagine you are out on a walk around town. You see a good friend far down the other end of the street, make brief eye contact, and wave at them. The friend makes no response and just keeps walking.
While at times we can easily reason this away – “they just didn’t see me” – if we’re in a bad mood, the cognitive distortions might come flying in: “they must be bad at me” (mindreading); “I must have done something to upset them” (personalization); “they probably don’t want to be friends anymore” (catastrophizing).
Cognitive Distortions in Anxiety
Remember how emotions can lead to thoughts? It’s likely that when we are feeling anxious, our fear generates cognitive distortions, which in turn make us more fearful (Matthews & McLeod, 2002). This vicious cycle, which repeats and reinforces cognitive distortions, helps explain why anxiety can be so difficult to overcome.
Cognitive Distortions in Depression
In fact, cognitive distortions are so characteristic of depression that researchers have been able to distinguish how vulnerable people are to becoming depressed by measuring how many cognitive distortions they express in their everyday language (Al-Mosaiwi & Johnstone, 2018; Bucci & Freedman, 1981). Perhaps this is something you’ve noticed in yourself or in others: the experience of being around constantly negative thoughts is depressing, and the effort required to counteract all those negative thoughts is substantial.
Cognitive Distortions in CBT
Socially Damaging Cognitive Distortions
- Blame. Blaming is a cognitive distortion in which you believe that other people are at fault for something. The truth is that we all have ownership over our own feelings. We may want to blame our spouse when they forget our anniversary or blame our coworker for taking credit for the work that we did. Ultimately, we are upset and believe that the other person caused our negative emotions. Regardless of others’ actions, we are responsible for our emotions, and our ‘blaming’ thoughts prevent us from acknowledging our true feelings and taking actions that might prevent us from having these feelings again in the future. For example, we might communicate how these actions made us feel and the actions we will take if they happen again.
- Control. Controlling others is a behavior that comes from thought distortions that we have the right to control others. For example, if we are a control freak, we might think that our solution to a problem is the best one and so we give unsolicited advice in an attempt to control others. Or we might guilt-trip someone to get them to do something we want. Or, we might have a victim mentality that leads us to manipulate others into taking care of us physically or emotionally. Controlling behaviors often arise from cognitive distortions related to feeling entitled to direct the actions or experiences of other people.
- Bragging. Bragging about ourselves arises from a cognitive distortion that we are better or more valuable than others. We often brag to maintain our ego and its sense of superiority and to combat unconscious insecurity. Nevertheless, this distortion can lead others to feel alienated by us and undervalued. So it’s not hard to see how this may harm relationships.
- Selfishness. Similar to bragging, selfishness arises from our ego. Our ego-based cognitive distortion that we deserve more than others can lead to selfish behavior and a lack of consideration for the needs of others.
Self-Damaging Cognitive Distortions
- Self-blame. This cognitive distortion is exactly like blame except the thought distortion is directed at ourselves. If our partner forgets our anniversary or our coworker takes credit for our work, thoughts emerge related to these experiences being our fault in some way. We think, perhaps, we offended our partner or we weren’t assertive enough at work. Self-blame can be just as damaging as other-blame, but it’s turned inwards and erodes our self-esteem over time. To overcome self-blame, we can remind ourselves that just as we have ownership of our own feelings, others have ownership of their feelings. It’s up to them to manage their feelings and for us not to always blame ourselves for their feelings.
- People pleasing. People pleasing can be thought of as the inverse of controlling behavior. Here we have a cognitive distortion related to believing that other people have the right to control us. We might be easily manipulated or even voluntarily, and unconsciously, act in ways that please others, even if these actions go against our core values and needs. That’s why bringing awareness to this cognitive distortion and undoing it can often be key to growing our well-being.
- Putting ourselves down. Whether we put ourselves down in front of people or just inside our own heads, we do so because we have cognitive distortions related to not being good enough in some way. Maybe we don’t believe we are smart enough, attractive enough, thin enough, successful enough, etc… Determining the exact nature of these cognitive distortions takes self-awareness followed by effortful self-reprogramming.
- Sacrificing our needs. It is healthy to put the needs of others first sometimes, especially when we are parents. However, chronically or constantly devaluing our needs suggests we have a cognitive distortion related to low self-worth. Perhaps we were taught that our needs should always come last (a common experience for many women in our culture) or that we are not allowed to have certain needs (like the common cultural belief that men aren’t allowed to cry). Our culture or upbringing can lead us to believe that we aren’t allowed to have our needs, and this can be quite damaging to our well-being.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions
- Start by paying more attention to your thoughts and emotions. When you feel a negative emotion, see if you can identify the thought that caused it. Not all emotions are caused by thoughts, but you’ll discover that most of your most difficult emotions come from some type of cognitive distortion.
- Look for underlying beliefs. Did the thought arise from a belief? For example, if the thought said, “I’m weak”, did it arise from a belief, like “boys don’t cry”? See if you can identify related beliefs.
- Question the thought. Simply “feeling like” it’s true isn’t enough. What is the evidence that it is true? Would someone else who didn’t have your beliefs and experiences think the thought is true? If you’re thinking, “I am a bad person,” what is the evidence that this belief is false (e.g., what are the ways in which you are a good person?) When we question the thoughts, we begin to see that there is very little concrete evidence to support them.
- Explore the origins of the thoughts and beliefs. Cognitive distortions usually emerge from parental or social programming. In other words, we were taught to think this way. Perhaps our parents ignored us when we got angry or yelled at us when didn’t get straight As., leading us to develop certain patterns of self-focused or other-focused thoughts. Seeing how our experiences shaped our thoughts and beliefs can sometimes help motivate us to let them go.
- Explore your relationship with the thought. Ask yourself how the thought might be different if you had different life experiences, if you were in a different situation, or if you were a different person? Why might you be attached to this thought while others are not? By recognizing that we fall into specific thought patterns, we can begin to consciously detach from them.
- Let go. After we thoroughly explore our cognitive distortions, they’ll begin to lose their grip. Now, each time we have a cognitive distortion we’ll see it and we can consciously let go, communicating with our unconscious mind that we are done with this belief and thought pattern. In time, these thought distortions can even dissolve completely.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions: Example 1
A client of mine had success in this domain in challenging some of their “should” thoughts. This client felt frustrated, guilty, or fearful when their expectations for how they “should” be, or how the world “should” be, weren’t met. We discussed together how there is no actual evidence that any particular thing “should” be. At their core, “should” statements are just things that we want to be true.
So when this client thought to themselves, “I shouldn’t get angry at my partner”, they learned to restructure their thinking to acknowledge the reality of the situation: “I don’t want to be angry at my partner, but I am.” Saying “I shouldn’t” made them ashamed of their thoughts and feelings, but accepting their anger allowed them to respond to it more effectively.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions: Example 2
I’ll give you another example from my own life. Across all the romantic relationships I’ve had, I’ve sometimes been reluctant to share my feelings with my partners. In situations where I need to disclose my feelings to a partner, I often have the thought, “They won’t like this, and it will either be too painful for me, or they will decide to leave me.” Over time, I’ve come to recognize the mindreading and catastrophizing present in this cognitive distortion, and I’ve gotten better at counteracting it. (One piece of evidence that has helped is realizing that my partners almost always respond positively when I open up.)
Video: How to Stop Cognitive Distortions
Articles Related to Cognitive Distortions
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- Availability Heuristic: Definition, Examples, & Bias
- Metacognition: Definition, Strategies, & Skills
- Hindsight Bias: Definition, Examples, & How to Avoid It
- The Halo Effect: Definition, Examples, & Theory
- Attribution Theory: Definition, Examples, & Psychology
- Dunning-Kruger Effect: Definition, Examples, & Psychology
Books Related to Cognitive Distortions
Final Thoughts on Cognitive Distortions
I hope this article has helped you recognize where cognitive distortions impact your daily life. Each of us can catch some of these thoughts and expose their distorted natures – and now you know some useful tools for doing that. However, if they feel overwhelming or are especially hard to challenge and overcome, I encourage you to seek professional help in dealing with them.
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References
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