Ego Death: Definition, Examples, & Experiences

• One may no longer cling to identities or personality traits. Adding new “I am” statements (e.g., I am a teacher, or I am a leader) becomes impossible.
• One may have a lack of motivation to do most things. The ego’s desire to puff itself up drives most of human behavior. Ego dissolution reduces this type of self-inflationary action. 
• One may experience depersonalization. For example, a person may be walking along and realize that they are outside their body. 
• One may feel unfulfilled by normal activities (relationships, activities, attachments, wants, or even spiritual guidance). Happiness can no longer be found in external objects.
• One may have a hard time with the mind or thinking. It can feel like there is no one driving the mind anymore.
• One may begin to notice the insanity of what the ego wants.
  • For example, an ego might tell you to worry about everything to reduce your fear (of course, worry creates fear so this is bad advice).
  • Or it might tell you to live in your car to save money so that you won’t be homeless. (But if you’re living in your car you are homeless, so again, the ego gives bad advice). 

Life stages—or developmental stages—represent the different perspectives we move through as we go through life. Each stage has a dominating worldview or perspective (Wilber, 2007). This dominating perspective affects how we experience every single thing in our lives, even our self-concept, and therefore, our ego death.

The 8 Life Stages​​

• I am my body
• I am my peer group
• I am my actions 
• I am my outcomes
• I am my understandings
• I am my patterns 
• I am my awareness
• I am

It’s no wonder, then, that many psychologists have defined the ego differently—because the “I’ (or ego) is actually something that changes across human development. So the “I” (or ego) that dissolves dies is also different depending on where we are in adult development. 

As we move through stages of development, we expand through the stages, transcending and including the previous ones (Wilber, 2007)—kind of like adding rings being added to a tree as it grows. The “self” is like a tree trunk.

Although ego death can occur at any stage of development (and it seems that it does; Wilber 2007), the experience changes. Ego death at the later stages of development involves seeing through more and more egoic aspects of self (or more and more layers of our tree trunk).

In the sections below, we’ll talk about what ego death may be like at each developmental stage. I’ll refer to the stages by colors of the rainbow to help you keep track of how we move through these stages, from red to violet. The figure below quickly summarizes the stages and how we define the “I”.

At the red stage, our dominating perspective is self-focused or body-focused. We feel that if we can just meet our own immediate needs, we’ll be happy. Most young children are in this stage and approximately 5% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014).

At this stage, we view the self as the body. If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just the body. We transcend the current stage and include the previous one (Wilber, 2007). We expand to include both self-views. This is personal growth—or expansion of the ego, and there is nothing wrong with this. It’s a natural part of human evolution to add more things to our self-concept.

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Red Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not the body. Because our concept of ourselves at this stage is that we are a body, ego death at this stage simply involves realizing that we are not a separate body, and we are one with all that is.

At the orange stage, our dominating perspective is personality-focused or peer group-focused. We feel that if we are completely accepted by our small group (family, social group, religion, race, political group, etc…), we’ll be happy. Many teenagers are in this stage and approximately 10% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as our peers (we are part of a tribe). If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our peers. We transcend the current stage and include the previous one (Wilber, 2007). We expand to include both self-views. This is the normal path of development for humans.

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Orange Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not our peer group. Because our concept of ourselves is that we are a part of the people who are close to us, ego death at this stage involves realizing that we are not a separate body, and we are not our peers. We see through both concepts of self.

At the yellow stage, our dominating perspective is action-focused or skill-focused. We feel that if we can just take the right actions, we’ll be happy. Sometimes college students reach this stage, and many stay there (Wilber, 2007). Approximately 37% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as our actions (e.g., “you are what you do”). We may think of ourselves as college students, as our job title, or as our knowledge). If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our skills or actions. We transcend the current stage and include the previous ones (Wilber, 2007). 

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Yellow Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not the agentic self (the doer). This concept of “doership” (The idea that the self or “I” is the one that is doing) is a big topic in Vedanta and other spiritual traditions (Rajagopalachari, 1970). And many speak of how we are not the doer.

Because our concept of ourselves is that we are a doer (or the one responsible for acting), ego death at this stage involves realizing that we are not a separate body, not other beings, not even the doer—we see that there is no “I” to be found that does the actions. We see through this self-concept.

At the green stage, our dominating perspective is outcome-focused or achievement-focused. We feel that if we can just achieve the right things, we’ll be happy. Approximately 30% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as our outcomes or experiences. If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our outcomes. We transcend the current stage and include the previous ones (Wilber, 2007). 

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Green Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not our achievements or results. Karma Yoga, from Eastern traditions, helps one achieve this type of ego death by asking a person to give up responsibility for the results of their actions (Mulla & Krishnan, 2014). 

Because our concept of ourselves at this stage is that we are these outcomes (or the one responsible for creating these outcomes), ego death at this stage involves realizing that we are not responsible for our outcomes. Our pride in creating positive outcomes and our guilt over creating negative outcomes are both nonsensical because we see that there is no self to be found that creates outcomes or results. 
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So if our ego dissolves at this stage, we see that we are not a separate body, we are not our personality, we are not the doer, and therefore we can not be the creator of outcomes. You may have noticed that as we progress through the stages of development, and continue adding layers to our self-concept, ego death involves seeing through more and more egoic aspects of self.

At the teal stage, our dominating perspective is understanding-focused. We feel that if we can just understand ourselves and others (and they can understand us), we’ll be happy. Approximately 11% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as our understandings or perspectives—we see our perspectives as the key thing that differentiates us from others. If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our perspectives. We transcend the current stage and include the previous ones (Wilber, 2007). 

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Teal Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not our perspectives. We now see that perspectives are made up of beliefs and social conditioning. 

Read about Operant Condition & Classical Conditioning

Because our concept of ourselves is that we are these perspectives (or the one responsible for creating these perspectives), ego death at this stage involves realizing that our perspectives can’t possibly be the “I”. We had no control over how they formed or their continued existence.

We now see that we are not a separate body, we are not our personality, we are not the doer, we are not the creator of outcomes, and we are not the creator of our perspectives. Ego death at this stage involves letting go of all of these aspects of self.

At the blue stage, our dominating perspective is pattern-focused or process-focused. We feel that if we can just see through and undo our (and society’s) negative patterns, we’ll be happy. Approximately 5% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as a collection of patterns. If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our patterns (or habits or stories). We transcend the current stage and include the previous ones (Wilber, 2007). We expand to include all earlier self-views.

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Blue Stage
Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not our patterns or stories. Patterns are made up of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, etc… that play out over time and are triggered based on our social conditioning. We turn these into stories that help comfort us and enable us to stay in denial about what’s really happening. Because our concept of ourselves is that we are these patterns, ego death at this stage involves realizing that the patterns that we play out emerged on their own. The “I” didn’t create them and the “I” isn’t in control of them. 

We now see that we are not a separate body, we are not our personality, we are not the doer, we are not the creator of outcomes, we are not the creator of our perspectives, and we are not our patterns. This is now a lot of selves we have to let go of to dissolve the ego.

At the indigo stage, our dominating perspective is awareness-focused or consciousness-focused. We feel that if we can just become aware of everything, we’ll be happy. Approximately 1.5% of the adult population is in this stage (Cook-Grueter, 2014). 

At this stage, we view the self as our awareness. If we transcend this stage and move into the next one, we realize that we are more than just our awareness, we are awareness itself. We transcend the current stage and include the previous ones (Wilber, 2007). 

What Happens When During Ego Death at the Indigo Stage
This is an interesting stage. Because awareness begins to see that we are not any of the self-concepts we thought we were, ego death begins to happen at this stage on its own, regardless of whether we have a spiritual or meditation practice. This can be quite a shock to those of us who have the identity of atheist, non-spiritual, or scientist because suddenly we experience things we had no previous knowledge of. 

Ego death at this stage is the realization that we are not the self-concept or any of its components. As we slowly move through this stage, we may experience a slow ego dissolution, witnessing one aspect of self after another until our entire self-concept is gone. 

The aspects of “I” from the earlier stages must all dissolve. So we might experience the following things:

• We witness ourselves outside our bodies, therefore we can not be the body.
• We witness ourselves mirroring others’ desires back to them, therefore we can not be our loved ones.
• We witness life flowing through us, activating us, therefore we can no be the agentic self (the doer).
• We witness how outcomes arise without identifiable causes, therefore we can not be our achievements. 
• We witness patterns and stories creating themselves without any intention on our part, therefore, we can not be our patterns.
• We then begin to witness sublter and subtler aspects of the self-concept—we are not our efforting, not our emothing, not even our surrendering. We see things like:
  • Want, itself, is what wants.
  • Attachment, itself, is what attaches.
  • Effort, itself, is what efforts.
  • Surrender, itself, is what surrenders.

Given the complexity of our self-concept at this stage, ego death can feel like it just goes on and on. We now see that we are none of the things we thought we were—or, the “I” that we thought we were is nothing.

After we have dissolved our ego in indigo stage, we reach violet stage. We may not be able to reach violet stage until this has happened. 

This stage of development offers enlightenment, inner peace, and freedom from the limitations of the “I”. Of course, the “I” isn’t enlightened—the “I” no longer exists. Thus the peace of enlightenment just exists in the space where we are.

• Cook-Greuter, S. (2014). Ego development: A full-spectrum theory of vertical growth and meaning making. mimeo, Wayland.
  
• Martial, C., Fontaine, G., Gosseries, O., Carhart-Harris, R., Timmermann, C., Laureys, S., & Cassol, H. (2021). Losing the self in near-death experiences: the experience of ego-dissolution. Brain sciences, 11(7), 929.
  
• Mulla, Z. R., & Krishnan, V. R. (2014). Karma-yoga: The Indian model of moral development. Journal of business ethics, 123, 339-351.
  
• Rajagopalachari, C., Diwakar, R. R., & Munshi, K. M. (1970). Hinduism: doctrine and way of life. Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan.
  
• Rindfleish, J. (2007). The “death of the ego” in East‐meets‐west spirituality: diverse views from prominent authors. Zygon®, 42(1), 65-76.
  
• ​Wilber, K. (2007). Integral spirituality: A startling new role for religion in the modern and postmodern world. Shambhala Publications.