Self-Compassion: Definition, Examples, and Exercises

March 9, 2026 6 Min Read

Self-compassion: definition, examples and exercises

What is self-compassion?? Why is self-compassion important? And how can we develop more self-compassion? Find out here.

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What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion means giving yourself the same compassion You would give it to others. This means that to develop self-compassion, you must notice that you are suffering. So you must feel moved by this suffering. You may feel warmth, caring, or a desire to help. They therefore respond with understanding and kindness. Self-compassion means comforting and caring for yourself rather than being hard on yourself when you are hurting.

Examples of Self-Compassion

We are often our own worst critics. When we practice self-compassion, we can remind ourselves that everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Error and there is no reason to judge us. Self-compassion researcher Dr. Critic Neff says we demonstrate self-compassion when we “honor and accept our humanity.” And in his book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to YourselfShe says the goal is to completely stop judging and evaluating yourself.

Video: Defining Self-Compassion

Why is self-compassion important?

Self-compassion expert Joy Johnson LCSW says: The Self-Compassion Workbook that in the modern world we are expected to be as efficient as possible. This can cause us to become self-critical and set unrealistic standards for ourselves. The pressure we put on ourselves can become overwhelming. When we practice self-compassion, we can recognize when we are not living up to our standards or values, but we don’t judge ourselves as harshly for these normal human errors.

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The elements of self-compassion

1. Conscious awareness

Mindfulness Includes current consciousness. It’s about focusing your attention on what’s right in front of you and letting go of all your thoughts, emotionsor distractions might distract you from the present moment.

2. Self-acceptance

Without judgment or Self-acceptanceTry not to judge yourself for your mistakes or imperfections. You accept yourself as you are and can even appreciate your uniqueness or your particularities.

3. Live your values

If you know yours personal valuesYou can do it more easily make decisions in accordance with these values. When you live by these values, you have less opportunity to judge yourself. You live your life as it suits you and have less need for self-criticism.

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4. Kindness

Kindness is “a tender and benevolent affection”. When you give it to yourself, you can also think of it as kindness to yourself. The key to self-compassion is this kindness to yourself. You are also not an idiot or a bully.

How compassionate are you?

Here are some questions to help you assess your level of self-compassion. Ask yourself: Are you:

easily intimidated.
Fear of doing the wrong thing.
tend to be self-critical
I probably feel insufficient

Or do:

Try to be understanding with yourself
Give yourself the advantage doubt
Give yourself a break when you need it

By answering these questions yourself, you can get a better idea of your self-compassion.

Now you know more about self-compassion, but how do you start developing it? Here are some strategies:

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1. Let go of negative thoughts

When you have negative thoughts, imagine a blue sky with white clouds. Place each of these thoughts on a cloud and watch them float away. This exercise can help you realize that negativity should no longer be part of your thinking.

2. Face your inner critic

When you make a mistake and judge yourself, take a moment to pause and face your inner critic. Ask yourself: What self-critical things are you saying to yourself? What are the counterarguments to these ideas? Why might your thoughts be wrong or unkind and how can you make them kinder?

Video: self-compassion exercises to overcome self-criticism

3. Write a self-compassion letter

Research has shown that writing compassionate letters can relieve depression and increase happiness. [1]. Here is a more structured one Self-compassion activity Here’s how to write a self-compassion letter to help you develop this skill.

4. Use positive affirmations

Positive affirmations are kind words we say to each other. When we use positive affirmations, we remember them and begin to convince ourselves of them positive thoughts about us are true. For this reason, using positive affirmations can help increase our self-compassion.

5. Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary

When we tell ourselves that we “should” do something, be something, or feel something, we are only judging ourselves. There is no right way to do or be anything. When we relax our standards or rules for ourselves, we can be more compassionate to ourselves.

6. Show kindness to yourself

Practical Meditation on Kindness It has been shown to have a positive effect on our well-being [2]. So try these or other self-compassion meditations to develop these skills.

Video: Self-compassion meditation

7. Change your attribution style

When we have certain attribution styles, we can end up feeling a lot of negativity towards ourselves. For example,

External attribution for good things. External attribution for good things is the belief that good things do not come from us, but from outside of us. “We’re just lucky.” If we think like this, we will never be able to fully enjoy the good things that happen to us and we will never get the boost we need. Trust take the other.
Internal attribution of bad things. Internal allocation about bad things is the belief that we are responsible for bad things that happen to us. If we think that way, we always are. Accuse ourselves and be sad about things that belong to the past.

If you use these attributions, try to stop and question them. If you are responsible for the bad things, you are also responsible for the good things.

8. Take a self-compassion break

Sometimes when we’re hard on ourselves, we just need a little self-compassion break. It can remind us that even in stressful times, we have the strength to move forward. To learn more, watch the self-compassion pause video below.

Video: Self-Compassion Break

9. Give yourself permission to feel

When we are self-critical, we sometimes don’t allow ourselves to be or feel what we want. This suppression of emotions can actually have a negative impact on our mental health. So give yourself permission to feel whatever is true for you.

10. Forgive yourself

One of the ways we are hard on ourselves is by not forgiving ourselves when we do bad things. It’s not a bad thing to acknowledge the things you’ve done wrong or that have hurt people. But it’s also important to remember that you’re human and to give yourself a break. We all make mistakes and if we continue to blame ourselves, it becomes difficult to live happily.

11. Be kind to yourself

Many of us with self-esteem Problems can unconsciously make us feel worse when we engage in them situations it makes us feel worse. Try to be kind to yourself and remember yourself positive characteristicsor think of you To strengthen and not your weaknesses.

Articles on self-compassion

Want to learn more about self-compassion? Check out these articles:

Self-compassion books

If you want to learn more about self-compassion, here are some books that might interest you.

Final Thoughts on Self-Compassion

Self-compassion has several components, all of which help us to be kinder to ourselves. So if you struggle with self-critical thoughts, developing self-compassion is essential.

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References

1. Shapira, LB and Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for people prone to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(5), 377-389.
2. Hutcherson, CA, Seppala, EM, & Gross, JJ (2008). Loving-kindness meditation strengthens social bonds. emotion, 8(5), 720.

Self-Compassion: Definition, Examples, and Exercises