Definition, Bias, & Tips to Stop It

Negativity is defined as the tendency to be down, skeptical, and pessimistic. If we are being negative, we generally find the worst in any situation, often even seeing negative things where they may not exist. That’s why negativity tends to be bad for our mental health and well-being.

Negative people might:

• be pessimistic
• complain
• be judgmental
• blame others
• bring other people down
• put themselves down
• hold grudges
• have low self-esteem

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Negativity can often involve a negative attitude, grumpiness, tendency to see the negative in situations, or even the tendency to be an energy vampire. It might include a lack of optimism and difficulty seeing the bright side or silver linings in situations. Luckily, negativity is something you can work on if you aim to develop more positivity. We’ll talk more about these strategies down below.

Negativity synonyms

• pessimism 
• cynicism 
• unwillingness 
• antagonism 
• contrariness 
• uncooperativeness 
• gloom 

Here are some examples of negative statements that we, or others, might make.

• “I can’t do anything right”
• “I fail at everything.”
• “Everyone hates me.”
• “You suck.”
• “The meal (or activity, or person) is terrible.”
• “You always do X, Y, or Z wrong.”

We’re all prone towards negativity because we have a negativity bias. The negativity bias is the notion that negative things (emotions, thoughts, events) tend to have a larger effect on our mental state and well-being than positive things.

In addition to the negativity bias, some of us may be prone to negativity because of genetic or environmental factors. For example, the COMT gene can make us more anxious and worried, leading us to experience negative situations more intensely. The way we were raised can also increase our negativity. For example, if our parents were always complaining and pointing out the negative things in life, then we were actually taught to see these negative things more clearly than people whose parents focused on positive things.

Absolutely! The whole concept of therapy is about teaching people skills that help them reduce negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is entirely possible to reduce our negativity. That being said, our brains have already developed bad habits that make it easier for us to be negative. Learning how to be more positive will take some effort and practice. Here’s how to get started:

Not sure whether you’re a negative nelly? Take this well-being quiz to get a better sense of some of the things that might be contributing to lower well-being. Any of these things can put you in bad mood, so working on the things that you personally struggle with is a great start.

It turns out that some people have more of a negativity bias than others. For those of us who focus on the negative, our brains have developed pathways that help us keep seeing the negative more easily than the positive. It’s difficult to just will our brains to work differently, that’s why we have to train the brain to see the positive. 

If you’re struggling with negativity, it can help to memorize positive words and then quiz yourself on these positive words later. This forces your brain to activate the regions associated with these words (i.e., the memories and associations with positive things). When any region of the brain is activated, it gets stronger. So memorizing positive words can make positive concepts, memories, and ideas more accessible and easily activated in your brain. The more you activate these regions, the stronger they will get. So when you’re feeling negatively, your brain will likely have an easier time switching out of this negative mode.

Luckily, psychologists have measured the emotional content of thousands of words to find the positive and negative ones. To use these positive words to reduce negativity, grab our positive word flashcard book. 

Do you dwell on the negative things, thinking about them over and over until you’re miserable? You can’t think your way out of it because your brain is kind of stuck. Instead, you have to force your brain to think of something else, usually by doing something else.

Some of the best ways to stop rumination are to activate your body. You could exercise, take some deep breaths, or take an ice cold shower. These physical activities can short-circuit negativity and help you get back control over your mind.

Negativity often comes from using particular thinking styles that generate negative emotions. Ask yourself, do you tend to use the thinking styles below?

• Catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when we expect that everything will turn out horrible. We may catastrophize in many situations of just a few. Regardless, catastrophizing makes us feel more negative.
• Minimization. Minimizing is when we ignore or cast aside positive things. We make the bad things big in our minds and the good things small.
• All-or-nothing thinking. All-or-nothing thinking is when we interpret something as all good or all bad. In reality, most things are somewhere in the middle.
• Overgeneralization. Overgeneralization is when we experience something negative and then believe that we’ll always have negative experiences like this.
• Negative attention. Negative attention is when we pay attention and focus on the things that went badly rather than the things that went well in a situation or in our life.​

When we imagine things, the brain gets kind of confused and has a similar response as it would if these things were really happening. That means we can use imagination to create more positive emotions, less negative emotions, and the bodily responses that go along with it. So try to imagine what happiness feels like. Here’s a video exercise to help you feel happiness if you need help.

Mindful meditation can be really helpful for calming the mind and body. All that negative emotion can really get us activated, and by taking time to soothe those emotions, they can become easier to release. If you need a guided mediation, check out the video below to let go of negativity.

We can end up feeling a lot of negativity about ourselves when we have certain attribution styles. For example,

• External attribution for the good things. External attribution for the good things is the belief that the good things do not come from us but from outside of us. “We’re just lucky”. When we think like this, we never fully enjoy the good things that do happen to us and get the boost in self-confidence that others get.
• Internal attribution for the bad things. Internal attribution about the bad things is the belief that we are responsible for the bad things that happen to us. When we think like this we’re always blaming ourselves and feeling bad about things that are in the past.

When you find yourself using these attributions, try to stop and question them. If you are responsible for the bad things, then you are also responsible for the good.

When we’re feeling negative it can be hard to even see the good things. But if we just pause and savor even small good things we can increase their impact. Maybe your friend calls to say hello, a colleague gives you a compliment, or a flower grows from between cracks in the sidewalk. These are pretty cool things that can generate positive emotions for us if we use savoring. Here’s a savoring activity if you need some help with this.

To capitalize on positive experiences, show them or share them with someone you care about. “Show it” on your face or in your body language. “Share it” by calling, texting, or talking to someone about it. Just one word of caution, be careful about sharing your positive moments on social media, because “humble bragging” might make other people feel worse.

One more way to decrease negativity is to start a gratitude practice. When we regularly practice gratitude, it’s easier to focus on the positive things and feel good about the state of our lives. That’s why writing gratitude notes or gratitude lists can be helpful. Once you’ve had a gratitude practice for a while, your brain will start to get used to it and more easily notice things to be grateful for each day. That, in itself, is a good way to lessen negativity.

If you’re feeling negative about something that you have no control over, you might be better off practicing acceptance and letting it go. We actually do have a lot of control over our lives and we can take actions to make ourselves feel better in lots of situations. But of course, there are things we can’t change. Knowing when we need to just accept something instead of fighting it internally with negative emotions is key for maintaining our well-being.

Creativity may be a good way to boost positive emotions. So if you’re having a hard time with the thought or writing exercises above, try something more creative You could draw the things you’re grateful for, cook for those you care about, or grow food to share with your community. Getting creative may be necessary to find the best ways to overcome your unique flavor of negativity.

The broaden-and-build theory suggests that positive emotions build our psychological, intellectual, and social resources. Basically, they help us be more creative, kind, and intelligent. So how do we infuse our lives with small bursts of positive emotion? The answer? Do whatever you can to feel more positive emotion. Maybe watch some cute cat videos, do activities you enjoy, or exercise. Finding ways to increase positive emotion is a good strategy to stop negative emotions.

Sometimes when we’re feeling stressed out, or angry, or other high arousal negative emotions, we just need something to calm ourselves. In these cases, music can be really helpful. I personally listen to calming music—like binaural beats—while I’m working to try to keep my stress level down. 

Are you feeling negative because of things you’ve done to yourself? For many of us who feel worthless, we unconsciously set ourselves up to feel bad by putting ourselves in bad situations or interpreting situations as bad. By being good to yourself and reminding yourself about your positive attributes, you can reduce negativity. So just try using positive affirmations and thinking about your strengths rather than your weaknesses.

In my field, we talk a lot about how to feel more positive emotions and less negative emotions. But negative thoughts sometimes have benefits too. We can’t just push them all away without some careful thinking. For example, sadness helps us tell others that we need their emotional support. Anger can help motivate us to take action to correct injustice in the world. And feeling anxiety can protect us from making mistakes that hurt us in the long term. We just have to be careful that we don’t have these emotions out of bad habits. Instead, we need to choose the emotions that help us achieve whatever we desire.

Here are a few quotes related to negativity:

• ​”Life is too short to spend in negativity. So I have made a conscious effort to not be where I don’t want to be.” — Hugh Dillon
• “It’s difficult to look on the bright side when you’re surrounded by negativity.” — Amy Morin
• “The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous.” — David Icke
• “Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form–you can transfigure negativity by turning it toward the light of your soul.” — John O’Donohue
• “Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it will take their breath away.” — Unknown
• “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” — Helen Keller
• “Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.” — Kamand Kojouri

Want to keep learning? Check out these articles related to negativity.

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