Definition, Examples, & Tips to Overcome It

Do you frequently think about how others see you? Do you often worry about offending or upsetting others? Do you get stressed out about having to perform in front of others? Then you might be more self-conscious than others. It can be difficult to always be thinking about how people see you. So, in this article, we’ll explore self-consciousness to better understand both the good and the bad parts of it. With these insights, we can start to overcome the unhelpful parts of self-consciousness.
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1. Private self-consciousness. Habitual attendance to our thoughts, motives, and feelings. This person might frequently engage in self-reflection or introspection.
2. Public self-consciousness. The awareness of oneself as a social object. This person might have concerns about how they appear to others (Turner, Carver,  Scheier, & Ickes, 1978). 

Public self-consciousness is sometimes further divided into two types:

1. Style consciousness. Awareness of our behaviors as they are observed by others.
2. Appearance consciousness. Awareness of how we look, physically, to others (Takishima-Lacasa, 2014).

Private self-consciousness is also sometimes divided into two types:

1. Internal state awareness. Awareness of feelings and physical responses.
2. Self-reflectiveness. Tendency to reflect on the past, ourselves, and our motivations  (Takishima-Lacasa, 2014).

What’s the opposite of self-consciousness?
The opposite of self-consciousness involves not really reflecting on ourselves. We may go with the flow more, be more mindfully present in the moment, or not really spend much time thinking about our own thoughts, emotions, and how we are seen in the eyes of others.

Private self-consciousness
Marina is high in private self-consciousness. She enjoys taking personality quizzes to better understand herself and often takes a moment to reflect after she experiences anger or sadness to better understand where the emotions are coming from. She knows herself well and understands why she does and says the things she does.
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Public self-consciousness
​Eduardo is high in private self-consciousness. He dislikes speaking in front of a group because he’s afraid he’ll say something wrong. Sometimes when people look at him, he wonders if there is food in his teeth. He’s also very careful about what he says and does because he’s always thinking about how others see him and he wants to make sure they like him.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get a sense of your levels of private and public self-consciousness (Buss, 1980; ipip.ori.org).

Private self-consciousness
I am constantly reflecting on myself.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I examine my motives constantly.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I look for hidden meaning in things.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I try to examine myself objectively.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I spend time reflecting on things.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I like to get lost in thought.​
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 
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*higher scores suggest MORE private self-consciousness.

Public self-consciousness
I worry about what people think of me.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I want to amount to something special in others’ eyes.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I feel threatened easily.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I need reassurance.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I need the approval of others.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

I am easily intimidated.
Strongly disagree            Strongly agree
1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10 

*higher scores suggest MORE public self-consciousness.

Some research has shown that people high in public self-consciousness tend to use fashion and makeup more often to affect how others see them. They’re also more accurate about the impressions they leave on others. In addition, they are more likely to conform to group opinions and the expectations of others. Lastly, they use self-presentation strategies that can result in more favorable responses from others (Doherty & Schlenker, 1991).

How self-consciousness is related to anxiety
Although public self-consciousness doesn’t always lead to social anxiety, it may be a contributor. If we’re always thinking about how others see us—and we don’t think they are seeing us in a good light—we might start to develop anxiety around others. High public self-consciousness can also lead us to be sensitive to rejection (Turner, Carver,  Scheier, & Ickes, 1978).

Self-conscious feelings tend to peak in early adolescence. At this time, public self-consciousness is related to shyness, nervousness, and poor social skills. Interestingly, both private and public self-consciousness is related to depression, anxiety, and social problems in girls but not boys (Bowker, & Rubin, 2009).

Although this research helps us better understand possible causes of self-consciousness, it’s not clear whether self-consciousness caused these things or the other way around. It makes sense, for example, that having social problems could lead one to become more self-conscious. But it also makes sense that being self-conscious (versus present in the moment) might cause social problems. So we don’t fully understand what causes self-consciousness.

Self-awareness is thought to be the capacity of the self to reflect upon its self. Generally, in psychological research, self-awareness is thought to be a momentary experience or state. We might be self-aware when we are engaging in the act of self-reflection. For this reason, mirrors and cameras are often used to stimulate self-awareness in study participants (Morin & Everett, 1990).

Self-consciousness, on the other hand, is thought to be a more enduring personality trait. It’s a characteristic that we bring with us in many situations. For example, we might be more or less likely to think about ourselves—our experiences or how others see us—regardless of the situation.

When we feel self-conscious, we might be experiencing emotions. Indeed, there are a variety of emotions that are directed at the self. Here are some so-called self-conscious emotions:
We experience self-conscious emotions when we feel we have lived up to—or failed to live up to—some expectation or ideal we have for ourselves (Tracy & Robins, 2004). Now, these ideals we have for ourselves can be based in reality or entirely in our heads. It doesn’t matter where these ideals come from—it only matters how we compare ourselves to that ideal. For example, we might feel we have reached an ideal–yay! pride!—or we might feel that we have failed to reach an ideal–yuk, shame.

Self-conscious emotions arise from events that evoke self-awareness. For example, if you win $100 you might feel happiness, but if you earn $100 you might feel pride because you were involved in getting that $100. 

Although self-conscious emotions are not always fun to experience, they help motivate our behavior in important ways. They can drive us to achieve more, to behave in ways that help us win friends, and engage in more kind behaviors. Overall, they help us achieve important social goals (Tracy & Robins, 2004).

Self-consciousness generally develops when we are kids or young adults. Although it can get easier in adulthood, it doesn’t always. If we were worried about how others thought about us when we were young, we can sometimes bring these bad habits with us. That’s why learning how to change these thought processes can be tough. So, here are some tips to overcome self-consciousness.

1. Build self-trust
When we’re self-conscious, we constantly question ourselves—our thoughts, emotions, and actions. We need to learn to trust ourselves—only we know who we are deep down and it’s up to us to decide how we want to live our lives. But that requires self-trust.

To begin trusting yourself, start by being honest with yourself. Are you working a job that’s not the right fit for you? Do you hang out with friends who you don’t really like? Are you living a life that is authentically yours? It can be hard to trust yourself if you’re making decisions that aren’t in your own best interest. So work on being honest with yourself about who you really are and what you really want.

Next, act on your beliefs and values. The more you follow your own path and do what feels right to you, the less it matters what others think. When you know something is right for you, then it is right, for you.

2. Cultivate mindfulness
​In some ways, mindfulness might just be the opposite of self-consciousness. It involves presence (staying present in the moment versus getting stuck in your head) and accepting situations and emotions as they are (versus worrying about them or trying to control them). 

You can build your mindfulness skills by practicing mindfulness exercises—things like noticing the details of an object or doing mindful meditations. Check out the meditation audio and video below to try it out.

If you find yourself going down into a self-conscious downward spiral, it might be helpful to use some anti-rumination strategies. Rumination is when our thoughts just keep going and going and we can’t stop them. A good way to stop these thought cycles is to go for an intense run or take a cold shower. These strategies can help jolt you out of your mind and back into your body. 

Want to keep learning about how to overcome self-consciousness? Here are a few articles on related topics that you may be interested in checking out.

Do you feel like you still need more advice to overcome self-consciousness? Here are a few books that may help.​

• Bowker, J. C., & Rubin, K. H. (2009). Self‐consciousness, friendship quality, and adolescent internalizing problems. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 27(2), 249-267.
• Buss, A. H. (1980). Self-consciousness and social anxiety. San Francisco: W. H. Freeman.
• Doherty, K., & Schlenker, B. R. (1991). Self‐consciousness and strategic self‐presentation. Journal of Personality, 59(1), 1-18.
• Morin, A., & Everett, J. (1990). Inner speech as a mediator of self-awareness, self-consciousness, and self-knowledge: An hypothesis. New Ideas in Psychology, 8(3), 337-356.
• Takishima-Lacasa, J. Y., Higa-McMillan, C. K., Ebesutani, C., Smith, R. L., & Chorpita, B. F. (2014). Self-consciousness and social anxiety in youth: The Revised Self-Consciousness Scales for Children. Psychological assessment, 26(4), 1292.
• Tracy, J. L., & Robins, R. W. (2004). “Putting the Self Into Self-Conscious Emotions: A Theoretical Model“. Psychological Inquiry, 15(2), 103-125.
• Turner, R. G., Carver, C. S., Scheier, M. F., & Ickes, W. (1978). Correlates of self-consciousness. Journal of Personality Assessment, 42(3), 285-289.​