Definition & Mental Health Benefits​

Serenity is a sense of inner peace that is not subject to the whims of the outside world (Roberts & Whall, 1996). For people who describe themselves as having had or currently experiencing a sense of serenity, this state of being usually follows from having had a spiritual awakening of some kind. In other words, people with serenity have realized that their lives are not within their control—and they’re okay with that. They know they are not supposed to be in charge. Instead, they recognize that some larger force is working in their lives, and maybe in all of our lives, to make sure they will be okay.
 
That, at least, is the understanding of serenity as it is commonly described by addicts in recovery (Roberts & Whall, 1996). Perhaps the experience of serenity is especially compelling to people in addiction recovery because they have experienced chaos and continuous fear for so long. But the concept of serenity is also relevant for people without addiction. This is because serenity is not simply a state of being, exactly. Rather, it is created by an assortment of healthy mental and spiritual practices (Connors et al., 1999). Active prayer and meditation, use of other mindfulness skills, coping mechanisms, and in particular the ability to accept life as it comes, letting go of and detaching from one’s negative emotions, are all key components of reaching a state of serenity.
 
My own experience of gradually increasing serenity certainly aligns with this conventional understanding. Although I have had many moments when I could serenely accept things that used to really hurt, I have still suffered a lot along the way. In other words, my own serenity is growing but inconsistent. I am still liable to get really frustrated if I can’t fix an appliance or traffic makes me late. It is just that my heightened response to these experiences is becoming less and less frequent. In the words of my first-grade teacher, Mrs. Wolf, who saw me for the budding perfectionist I was, I am “sweating the small stuff” way less. And even the big things I might want to sweat seem to be part of a bigger plan.​

The opposite of serenity is chaos: chaos of the emotional, spiritual, and physical variety. Any parent of a young child or two can tell you that serenity is rarely present in their household; life can often seem to move from one unmet need or frustration or crisis to the next. When I was really struggling as a graduate student, I lived in this chaos, and it seemed that every thing I might do—even if I was really going to enjoy it—was just another demand on my time. I seemed to be juggling way too many balls in the air, with never a moment’s peace.​

Nowadays, I am juggling almost as many balls but with far less stress and anxiety. What has changed? I practice proper self-care, giving myself the rest and good nutrition I really need. And I make sure to carefully ask myself whether each thing I might worry about is (a) within my control and (b) worth worrying about. Serenity seems to emerge for many people from the acceptance that very little is within their control.

The psychological research is fairly clear on this: The more serenity people have, the better their mental and physical well-being. For example, one study found that people higher in self-reported serenity experienced more positive emotions and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression (Kreitzer et al., 2009). Another found that people who were higher in serenity were less likely to ruminate, or get stuck in negative thought patterns, and therefore experienced less anxiety about their health (Wolfradt et al., 2014).

I think these are useful studies to know about because they are not focused on people with addictions, who are usually the population people associate with the concept of serenity. In other words, pursuing a sense of serenity in one’s life has the potential to help pretty much everyone, not just people trying to recover from addictions.​

It might be helpful to get more concrete about serenity and provide some examples. Here are some of the characteristics often found in people with a lot of serenity in their lives (Roberts & Aspy, 1993):
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• An inner sense of peace and security. People with serenity know that they are safe and good. Outside events may rattle the foundation of this belief, but they won’t shatter it. Serenity means a deep knowing that the world will be okay and you will be okay and you don’t necessarily have to change anything for this okayness to continue.
• The ability to accept life on life’s terms. People with serenity understand that life will throw them curveballs and that many—or maybe even most—of their plans won’t work out. They don’t take this personally, because they know that trying to bend the world to their will simply doesn’t work. Most of them have tried that route many times over, and they have ultimately been left frustrated. So they let the randomness of the universe wash over them.
• An increased ability to stay in the present moment. Because people with serenity are not constantly resisting “life on life’s terms,” they are able to be present much of the time. If they are feeling bad, they get curious about it and stick with the feeling. If they feel good, they feel grateful but try their best not to slip into worry about how long the good feelings will last. As many an addict would say, they try to take things “one day at a time.”
• Trust in a higher power or energetic force in the universe. As we noted above, in most instances an experience of serenity comes paired with an awareness of a power greater than oneself. After all, if I am not in charge, who is? It is hard to imagine that all the things that have gone right in my life happened purely through chance; perhaps some greater force is behind this.
• The capacity to get some distance from one’s own emotions. When people with serenity are accepting the present moment as it is, this includes their own emotions. They don’t get drawn into resisting what they feel—they let the emotions unfold. Maybe they say a prayer, call a friend, go on a walk, or take some deep breaths. Maybe they speak their truth to whomever is upsetting them. People with serenity have found skillful ways to respond to their emotions.
• The ability to place oneself in the bigger picture. People with serenity know just how important they aren’t in the grand scheme of things. Yes, you read that right—people with serenity have egos that are nearing their proper size. They have a strong enough sense of self to know their worth and to resist being mistreated, but they are not self-centered enough to insist that the world revolves around them. They have accepted their rightful size in the universe, and they live happier lives as a result.

When you hear the word serenity, especially if you have been in any mental health spaces or have interacted with people with addictions, the phrase “serenity prayer” has probably popped into your head. Written by Reinhold Niebuhr, the Serenity Prayer itself reads as follows: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Despite starting with the word “God,” this phrase is used by religious and nonreligious people alike the world over as a mantra or prayer they can say when they need spiritual support (Campbell, 2015).

The power of this prayer is in its ability to point us toward two effective coping skills (Campbell, 2015). Is it time to keep trying to change the world around me, or is it time to let things be what they will be? Both choices are a powerful way to move through a tough situation. But we often are uncertain of which choice to make, so we ask for guidance from some source outside ourselves.​

The Serenity Prayer is an integral part of all twelve-step programs, the personal help groups for people with addictions or relationship issues (Ferentzy et al., 2010). People as diverse as gamblers, pornography addicts, and people stuck in codependent patterns with their loved ones all fall back on its guidance. It has the potential to be just as helpful for people who aren’t religious or facing a particular challenge though; many would argue that anybody in need of more spiritual peace can benefit from this prayer (Campbell, 2015). If you would like to hear some more about the power of the Serenity Prayer, I recommend watching this video:

The benefits of serenity clearly extend to the realm of mental health. People who are higher in what some psychologists call “dispositional serenity” seem to experience greater mental well-being and less stress (Soysa et al., 2021). The aspects of serenity such as humility, faith, inner peace, and acceptance were all found to be associated with these positive psychological traits.

• “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” — Reinhold Niebuhr
• “Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” — Thomas Szasz
• “Serenity is the balance between good and bad, life and death, horrors and pleasures. Life is, as it were, defined by death. If there wasn’t death of things, then there wouldn’t be any life to celebrate.” — Norman Davies
• “In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish.” — Simone Weil

• Annerstedt van den Bosch, M., Östergren, P. O., Grahn, P., Skärbäck, E., & Währborg, P. (2015). Moving to serene nature may prevent poor mental health—results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 12(7), 7974–7989.
• Campbell, E. L. (2015). Utilizing the serenity prayer to teach psychology students about stress management. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 43(1), 3–7.
• Connors, G. J., Toscova, R. T., & Tonigan, J. S. (1999). Serenity. In W. R. Miller (Ed.), Integrating spirituality into treatment: Resources for practitioners (pp. 235–250). American Psychological Association.
• Ferentzy, P., Skinner, W., & Antze, P. (2010). The serenity prayer: Secularism and spirituality in Gamblers Anonymous. Journal of Groups in Addiction & Recovery, 5(2), 124–144.
• Kreitzer, M. J., Gross, C. R., Waleekhachonloet, O. A., Reilly-Spong, M., & Byrd, M. (2009). The brief serenity scale: A psychometric analysis of a measure of spirituality and well-being. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 27(1), 7–16.
• Pekala, R. J., Kumar, V. K., Maurer, R., Elliott-Carter, N. C., & Moon, E. (2009). Self-esteem and its relationship to serenity and anger/impulsivity in an alcohol and other drug-dependent population: Implications for treatment. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 27(1), 94–112.
• Roberts, K. T., & Aspy, C. B. (1993). Development of the Serenity Scale. Journal of Nursing Measurement, 1(2), 145–164.
• Roberts, K. T., & Whall, A. (1996). Serenity as a goal for nursing practice. Image: The Journal of Nursing Scholarship, 28(4), 359–364.
• Rushing, A. M. (2008). The unitary life pattern of persons experiencing serenity in recovery from alcohol and drug addiction. Advances in Nursing Science, 31(3), 198–210.
• Soysa, C. K., Zhang, F., Parmley, M., & Lahikainen, K. (2021). Dispositional mindfulness and serenity: their unique relations with stress and mental well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 22(3), 1517–1536.
• Wartmann, F. M., Tieskens, K. F., van Zanten, B. T., & Verburg, P. H. (2019). Exploring tranquillity experienced in landscapes based on social media. Applied Geography, 113, 102112.
• Wolfradt, U., Oemler, M., Braun, K., & Klement, A. (2014). Health anxiety and habitual rumination: The mediating effect of serenity. Personality and Individual Differences, 71, 130–134.