How to Cultivate Confidence From Within​

“Confidence within” isn’t a formal psychological or scientific term. However, the concept is rooted in psychological and self-development theories. It generally refers to a person’s ability to cultivate a sense of self-assuredness, worth, and belief in their abilities without relying on external validation or approval.

Confidence within doesn’t mean being perfect or free from self-doubt. It’s about having a solid foundation of belief in your ability to navigate life’s challenges and opportunities.

Have you ever felt a confidence boost when someone complimented you? Or maybe you just landed a new job or received an award and your ego swells a little (which is perfectly okay). These are examples of confidence from external sources—”confidence without.” It’s when your confidence is dependent on outside circumstances or validation from others.  

Because this type of confidence is contingent on something outside your control, it can crumble easily. For example, have you ever felt your self-confidence go down the drain when faced with an intimidating situation or because you made a mistake? Or maybe it was because of something someone said. Or maybe even just a disapproving look. 

By contrast, when you have confidence from within, these types of things don’t shake your sense of self-worth or self-esteem. You can mess up or make a bad impression and still feel confident and good about yourself overall. 

Sometimes I experience this when I surf. When I have a good session and I’m really on it, I feel strong and confident. (This wasn’t easy to learn!) But if the next day I’m struggling or miss lots of waves, I don’t think, “Okay, well I’m a little off today.” It’s more like, “After all these years, how do I still suck at this?” Then I might crank it up a notch to “I can’t do anything well,” then it finally culminates in “Maybe I’m just an all-around loser.” (Way to take the joy out of something I love to do!) Reminding myself just how absurd this line of thinking is gives me perspective. I find that seeing the humor in it helps to tone down that critical voice and restore inner confidence.

Benefits of having confidence within include:
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• Resilience: We all experience setbacks and failures. Inner self-confidence helps prevent these experiences from causing you to spiral out of control and damaging your overall self-esteem. It enables you to bounce back, learn from mistakes, and try again.
• Motivation and persistence: Confidence enhances motivation (Bénabou & Tirole, 2005). When you’re confident in your abilities, you’re more motivated to set and achieve goals. Even when faced with obstacles, your confidence can drive you to persist and find solutions.
• Academic achievement: Confidence is a strong predictor of academic performance (Stankov et al., 2017), which isn’t surprising considering its link to motivation and persistence.
• Enhanced performance: Self-confidence helps athletes reduce the negative effects of anxiety during intense competitions, thus leading to better performance (Hanton et al., 2004).
• Openness to experience: Inner confidence gives you the courage to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. In turn, trying new things, even if you’re a little unsure of yourself, builds more inner confidence.
• Increased creativity: Believing in yourself fosters an environment where you’re more willing to explore new ideas and think creatively. You’re less likely to censor yourself due to fear of failure or internal critical self-talk, or imagining the criticism of others (de Rooij, 2022). 
• Improved communication skills: Confidence allows you to communicate more effectively. You’re more likely to express yourself clearly and assertively, leading to better understanding in your interactions with others.
• Health benefits: Confidence within supports self-esteem. Self-esteem is associated with better physical and mental health, including lower stress levels and improved overall well-being (Orth & Robins, 2022).

Here are some things that can influence your level of confidence within:
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• Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths and weaknesses, your core values, and your beliefs helps you have a realistic perception of yourself. With this knowledge, you can be more confident in your abilities and decisions.
• Positive self-esteem: Having a positive self-image and valuing yourself is essential for inner confidence. People with high self-esteem tend to believe in their abilities and are less likely to be overly affected by criticism.
• Goal achievement: Setting and achieving goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and validate your abilities, leading to increased self-confidence.
• Self-compassion: Treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when facing failures or setbacks, helps you maintain confidence. 
• Social support: Having a strong support network of friends, family, mentors, and colleagues can provide encouragement and validation, positively impacting your confidence.
• Positive role models: Having positive role models or mentors who exemplify the qualities and confidence you admire can inspire you to develop similar confidence within yourself.
• Overcoming challenges: Successfully overcoming a challenge reinforces your belief in your ability to handle difficult situations, leading to increased confidence. Again, you “prove” to yourself that you can do difficult things.

People:

• Malala Yousafzai: Despite an assassination attempt by the Taliban, Malala continued to speak out in support of women’s rights and girls’ education. Her inner confidence helped give her the determination and persistence to overcome fear and adversity and inspire millions around the world. At age 17, she became the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. 
• ​​Maya Angelou: Renowned writer and civil rights activist Maya Angelou showed confidence from within throughout her life and work. Despite a challenging childhood, she embraced her unique voice and perspective. Her poem “Still I Rise” is a testament to her internal confidence, expressing resilience in the face of racism and adversity. Her ability to channel her personal experiences into art shows her inner self-assuredness.
• Notorious R.B.G.: At a time when there were very few female attorneys, Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s steady confidence helped her pursue her career. Despite graduating first in her class from Columbia Law School, she struggled to find a law firm that would hire her. However, because of her resilience and persistence—qualities tied to inner confidence—she forged ahead and eventually became a Supreme Court Justice. She was also a fierce supporter of rights, especially gender equality.

Situations:
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• Public speaking: How we handle public speaking can show confidence from within. Public speaking is a common cause of anxiety, usually due to fear of negative judgment or rejection. But when you have inner confidence, instead of obsessively worrying about how you’ll be perceived, you put that energy into preparation and practice. Then even if there’s an unexpected hiccup during the presentation, your confidence helps you stay composed and adapt without losing your sense of self-assuredness. I remember when I was in yoga teacher training, my teacher said if you take the focus off yourself and look to see what your audience needs, your nervousness will go away.
• Job interviews: These are always a bit nerve-wracking, especially if you really want the job. Instead of approaching the interview desperate to impress, you can use your inner confidence to approach the interview with an attitude of curiosity and see it as an opportunity to find out if the job is a good fit. Because you have a strong belief in your skills and experiences, there’s no need to exaggerate or create a false image. And if it doesn’t go well or you don’t get a job offer, your overall self-confidence stays intact despite the disappointment you may feel. ​

While positive self-talk is no doubt helpful, building confidence within doesn’t mean telling yourself a story about how great you are and then trying to convince others (or yourself) it’s true. Experts say just the opposite. Someone with inner confidence isn’t afraid to look at themselves objectively, acknowledge their strong points, work on those that need improvement, and ask for help when they need it (Gallo, 2011).When you have a general sense of self-assuredness, acknowledging areas to work on doesn’t wreck you because your sense of self isn’t dependent on any one thing. 

Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of a “growth mindset” versus a “fixed mindset.” A growth mindset involves believing that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning (Claro et al., 2016). Research on neuroplasticity indicates that with practice, new connections are made in the brain and our skills can increase and change throughout our lifetime. This mindset helps you to build confidence from within, as it encourages you to embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth.

• Quiet the inner critic: Negative self-talk erodes confidence. If it becomes a constant habit, it can be debilitating. Positive affirmations help, but they don’t have to be anything grandiose. When I have a self-critical thought, I find it helpful to counter it with logic. Something like: “Is it really true that you always fail?” Some others I like are: “Or maybe not,” and “So what?” Some people find it helpful to give the inner critic a name, as you would a pet. It seems to take its power away. Then you can say, “Okay Gertrude, calm down. You know that’s not true.”
• Remember a success: When you’re in the throes of insecurity, it can seem like you never feel confident. Remind yourself of something that seemed intimidating at first but is now effortless. Maybe you felt a sense of overwhelm when you started a new job, but now you feel polished and competent. Or think of a skill you learned, like playing a musical instrument or a sport, that felt super awkward at first. 
• Stop comparing: By comparing, we allow our self-worth to be determined by others. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It might also be the thief of self-confidence. It can be difficult to stop comparing; our culture seems to encourage it. Unsurprisingly, spending too much time on social media has been linked to negative comparisons to others and also to depression (Samra et al., 2022). So limit your social media use, and when you are online, remember that people tend to only show the good stuff. The reality can be very different. 
• Work on your posture: Can something as simple as changing your posture help with self-confidence? Studies show body posture can influence thoughts and behavior. For example, slumping has been linked to less persistence and feelings of helplessness (Briñol et al., 2009). One study showed that participants had more confidence when tackling a difficult math problem by sitting in an erect posture as opposed to a slouched posture. Not only did they feel more confident, but their performance also improved (Peper et al., 2018). 
• Show self-compassion: Developed by psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. Practicing self-compassion can lead to reduced self-criticism and increased self-acceptance, contributing to a stronger sense of internal confidence (Neff et al., 2007). You wouldn’t criticize a friend for messing something up, right? Try to be just as considerate of yourself. Instead, you might say something like, “This is difficult. How can I take care of myself right now?”
• Challenge yourself: When you do something despite some self-doubt or even a little fear, you prove to yourself that you can handle challenges. This accomplishment gives you stronger self-confidence the next time something comes up. It won’t be as scary because you’ve proven to yourself that you can do difficult things, even when you feel a bit insecure.

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In this video, Raia Carey exudes a calm, warm confidence that makes her not only extremely likable but also inspirational. Check it out for some helpful tools:​

• “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent van Gogh
• “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” — Unknown
• “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” — Marie Curie
• “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” — Lao Tzu
• “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” — Sylvia Plath
• “Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.” — Peter T. McIntyre
• “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
• “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” — Mahatma Gandhi
• “Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.” — Michelle Obama

Creating confidence within isn’t about eliminating all doubts or fears but rather about building a resilient mindset that allows us to face challenges with determination. By embracing our strengths, learning from failures, and practicing self-care, we can gradually cultivate a sense of confidence from within. True confidence comes from understanding and valuing your worth, despite setbacks or difficult circumstances and regardless of others’ judgments.

• Bénabou, R., & Tirole, J. (2005). Self-confidence and personal motivation. Psychology, Rationality and Economic Behaviour: Challenging Standard Assumptions, 19–57.
• Briñol, P., Petty, R. E., & Wagner, B. (2009). Body posture effects on self‐evaluation: A self‐validation approach. European Journal of Social Psychology, 39(6), 1053–1064.
• Claro, S., Paunesku, D., & Dweck, C. S. (2016). Growth mindset tempers the effects of poverty on academic achievement. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(31), 8664–8668.
• de Rooij, A. (2022). Speaking to your inner muse: How self-regulation by inner speaking influences confidence during idea evaluation. Creativity Research Journal, 1–18.
• Gallo, A. (2011). How to build confidence. Harvard Business Review.
• Hanton, S., Mellalieu, S. D., & Hall, R. (2004). Self-confidence and anxiety interpretation: A qualitative investigation. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 5(4), 477–495.
• Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(1), 139–154.
• Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2022). The benefits of self-esteem: Reply to Krueger et al. (2022) and Brummelman (2022). The American Psychologist, 77(1), 23–25.
• Peper, E., Harvey, R., Mason, L., & Lin, I. M. (2018). Do better in math: How your body posture may change stereotype threat response. NeuroRegulation, 5(2), 67.
• Samra, A., Warburton, W. A., & Collins, A. M. (2022). Social comparisons: a potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 11(2), 607–614.
• Stankov, L., Morony, S., & Lee, Y. P. (2017). Confidence: the best non-cognitive predictor of academic achievement? In Noncognitive psychological processes and academic achievement (pp. 19–38). Routledge.