How To Practice Emotional Control

March 8, 2026 5 Min Read

How to practice emotional control

Are you feeling really upset or upset? Carefree. There are science-backed strategies you can use to regulate these feelings. Try these strategies the next time you want to control your emotions.

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We’ve all been there: panicking about something that just happened to us – about what someone did to us, said to us, or didn’t do for us. And we feel angry, afraid, or defeated: our emotions have become overwhelming. What do we do now? control our emotions when they are already completely out of control?

After spending the last year researching and writing my new book, Outsmart Your Smartphone: Mindful Tech Habits to Find Happiness, Balance, and Connection in Real LifeI learned that there are countless ways to improve Let’s manage our emotions In the long term, we can, for example, further develop positive thinking skills, Reassessment skillsAnd elasticityHowever, these skills require careful practice over time.

Of course, learning these skills is a great idea, but maybe you just don’t know what to do (take this Well-being quiz to figure out which skills to focus on), or you just haven’t gotten there yet. So what do we do? Currently control our already uncontrollable emotions?

Here are some science-backed tips:

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What is emotional control?

Emotional control is a type of emotion Regulations. It refers to a person’s attempts to control the emergence, experience, or expression of an emotion. Typically, emotional control is cognitive, meaning we use reason, but it can also be behavioral, meaning we do something to change an emotional response (for example, jogging, drinking alcohol, or spending time with loved ones).

Here’s a video about how we create our emotions

1. Break negative thought spirals

When bad things happen, sometimes we need to reflect on those events and think about what happened – or what could have happened. It is often these ruminative thought cycles that determine our emotions, rather than the event itself. Control these emotionsUsually we just have to stop having the thoughts that create them. Of course, this is easier said than done.

One strategy is to play “I Spy.” It may seem silly, but naming different objects you see in the room can help you focus your thoughts on other, more mundane things and calm your feelings. Another strategy for redirecting your thoughts is to get up, do something, or change your environment. For example, you could excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or, if the situation allows, take a short walk. This approach helps you take a moment to rethink and steer your thoughts in a new direction.

Watch this TED talk on emotional control:

2. Breathe deeply

“Deep breathing” may seem like a simple platitude, but it actually activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm strong negative emotions like fear or anger. This is why deep breathing is essential when it comes to managing our most difficult emotions.

Because the brain has a harder time making good, rational decisions when emotions are front and center, we’re also likely to make better decisions if we take a few deep breaths first. If the feelings seem overwhelming, take a break. Take a few deep breaths and calm the intense emotions a little so you can carefully decide what you want to do next.

3. Generate positive emotions

Once you’ve calmed down a bit and can think clearly again, it might be worth a try. Bring positive emotions to the situation to help push away those negative feelings. One way to do this is to do the following: Look for the silver linings in everything that bothers you. For example, did your boss tell you that you had to redo the work you just did? The positive side could be that this experience will help you do your job better in the future. Or are you upset about something your romantic partner did? This could be the opportunity to do it Improve your communication skills and advocate for your needs in your relationship. It’s not always easy to find a glimmer of hope, but when possible, it’s a good way to inspire positive emotions.

Another way to add positive emotions to this moment is a funny video or an inspiring photo. These little positive things can help calm even the most intense negative emotions. So when you’re feeling really down, do something that brings you a little joy so you can get back to your normal self.

Why and how to control your emotions

4. Practice acceptance

It may seem counterintuitive to accept the things that bother us, but it’s actually good advice: “Accept the things you can’t change“If you want to control your emotions. No matter how upset we are, our emotions cannot change what is immutable. So ask yourself: what part of this situation is immutable? Remember to accept these things and focus your efforts on the things you can change for the better.

5. Avoid coffee and soda

Caffeine gives us energy. Sure, energy is good, but caffeine can ultimately produce nervous energy – energy that feels a lot like feelings of anxiety or panic. So if you’re feeling particularly anxious and can’t figure out what’s causing it, it might just be the caffeine.

If you’re already feeling stressed about something, caffeine can increase these emotions, especially because caffeine can negatively impact your sleep. When we don’t sleep well, we can’t control our emotions, making it easier for us to lose control. Therefore, limiting caffeine intake is another good way Keep These Emotions Under Control.

6. Increase your heart rate through exercise

If you are still upset and unable to control your negative emotions, try exercising, as exercise proves to be an effective way to do this. Improve your mood. Do a few sprints, lift heavy weights, or do another activity that increases your heart rate, because the higher the intensity of the workout, the greater the impact on your mood. The physiological changes that occur in your body make exercise a great solution to intense emotions that you have difficulty managing with other strategies.

Here’s a video for those who struggle with emotions

Articles on controlling emotions

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How To Practice Emotional Control