Internal Family Systems (IFS): Therapy, Parts, & More

visualize an angel and a devil on my shoulders, I know I often describe my internal conflict to other people with sentences like: “One side of me wants to do this, while the other side of me says I should do that instead.”

It is often upsetting for us as humans to have these voices inside our heads, arguing with each other and making it hard to be decisive. Or we may have a voice in our head that we consistently shut down, drowning it out with other parts of ourselves. Speaking for myself, there were many years when the voice in my head advocating for what I wanted would be talked over by other voices—still a part of me, just distinct—advocating for putting other people’s needs first. It turns out there is a style of therapy that developed around the observation that many of us experience exactly these kinds of inner conflicts. Let’s look at how Internal Family Systems may be able to help you or someone you know reduce that kind of internal conflict.

Internal Family Systems takes its inspiration from prior theorizing and treatment in family therapy. Family therapists have long recognized that it is conflict between different members of the family that causes a family to struggle as a collective. If the father and the family’s oldest child always seem to be fighting, eventually that conflict will spill over into other relationships in the family and cause the whole family system to suffer. Psychologist Richard Schwartz was conducting therapy with both families and individuals when he began to wonder if this way of thinking about families could be applied to individuals (Schwartz, 1995). He noticed that many of his clients talked about how different sides of themselves seemed to be in conflict; perhaps it would be helpful to imagine their interior worlds as having different parts, parts that came together to constitute a whole family?
 
From this question, Internal Family Systems theory was born. It sees each person as having multiple subpersonalities, or parts (Schwartz, 1995), and it takes as its goal the successful resolution of imbalances in power between these different parts. Internal Family Systems also proposes that each of us, in addition to having various psychological parts, also has a Self inside us. This is the core of who we are—something akin to our soul. People seek therapy, according to Schwartz, because the different parts of their psyche have come to run their lives, pushing their Self, which is always good and can never be damaged, out of the driver’s seat. The goal of Internal Family Systems therapy is to help the person’s Self regain leadership of the person’s entire psyche. It accomplishes this by taking back control from the different parts that have been in charge.​

Often, people enter therapy overly invested in certain parts of themselves and underinvested in other parts. For example, there is a playful childlike side to me that I rarely let out; instead, I let the managerial, very adult side of myself run things most of the time. The primary benefit of Internal Family Systems therapy is not getting rid of any particular part of one’s psyche but rather learning to accept them all and see how they can coexist (Schwartz, 2013).
 
Richard Schwartz memorably likes to say that there are no bad parts inside us, but this can be hard to believe or accept at first. Certain parts might seem or even be destructive, yet they represent important sides of ourselves that must be accepted and integrated, not rejected (Schwartz, 2013). One primary goal of Internal Family Systems therapy is to build compassion and care for all our different parts, recognizing the important roles they have played in helping us survive and even thrive. It is very painful to be rejecting parts of ourselves or seeing our parts in constant conflict; as we reduce the conflict between the parts by recognizing how each is uniquely contributing something important to our well-being, we experience less distress (Schwartz, 2013). Over time, Internal Family Systems clients become more and more aware of which parts are speaking and acting when; ultimately, their goal is to become fluent in recognizing the value of each part’s contributions while also having the Self remain in charge.​

So what are these parts, exactly, and why do they come to exist? Over time, we develop specialized parts of ourselves that are designed to handle certain situations as well as possible. That sounds adaptive, and it is, in the sense that certain life situations require certain responses. However, as we come to rely more and more on these parts, they become more rigid in their approaches, and when a certain part is running our lives, we become more rigid too. Schwartz (1995) called this pattern polarization, and he saw it as a struggle among the parts for overall control, with each part believing the whole system will collapse without its leadership.
 
If that still seems abstract, we can return to an example from my own life. There is a part of me—what we will see in just a moment has been an “exile”—that really wants to rely on others and get support. However, another part of me—the manager—remembers all the times that people were not able to support me, so to avoid experiencing the pain of that again, it tries to take over and make sure I don’t ever have to rely on others. For a long time, my manager really kept the wounded and needier parts of me hidden.

​1. Internal Family Systems Exiles (Injured Parts)

Exiles are the injured parts of ourselves, the ones carrying emotional pain and negative emotions in general. These are the soft parts of ourselves, the sides that only come out when we feel truly safe in being vulnerable and seen. We need these parts of us to be nurtured, but because they are so susceptible to pain, other parts in the system often take over to keep them from expressing that pain and asking for comfort.

2. Internal Family Systems Managers (Proactive Protectors)

The manager parts of us work to maintain an appearance of competence and success. They are managing our negative emotions—but not resolving them—under the surface so that we can appear like everybody else. While the manager part of me is able to get a great deal done in the world, it does not allow space for things like quiet time, self-care, and simply feeling my feelings.

3. Internal Family Systems Firefighters (Reactive Protectors)

The firefighter is the part of you that gets activated when emotions get too strong. Their role is to push away those feelings as fast as possible. This could look like yelling at somebody who has hurt you, coping via addictive behaviors, or even engaging in self-harm or contemplating suicide. The tactics of the firefighter often sound extreme, but this is because they are trying to stop negative emotions as quickly as possible.

4. Internal Family Systems Self 

The Self in Internal Family Systems is the genuinely present, caring, and compassionate part of ourselves that each of us can recognize when the other parts are integrated or calmed down (Schwartz, 2013). When people in Internal Family Systems therapy access their Self, they usually know it and are pleasantly surprised by how different it feels from being run by their other parts. The Self in each of us is calm, grounded, and confident, and it sees with clarity. It is a natural leader, able to draw on the other parts as needed but without yielding control to them. For example, when my Self is in control, it recognizes the value of my managerial side and accepts some of its input but does not hand over the reins.​

Internal Family Systems therapy works through the client and therapist interacting directly with the client’s parts and through bringing those parts into dialogue with each other (Schwartz, 1995). The therapist either talks directly to the parts as they emerge or guides the client in having the different parts converse with each other.
 
It’s important to remember that the goal is not to eliminate any parts but to accept both their value and their limitations so they can serve an appropriate role in our lives. In this regard, Internal Family Systems draws on a long history of self-acceptance as a key objective in therapy (Williams & Lynn, 2011). Just as families try their utmost to keep all members together, the therapist and the client work to see how each part is necessary and productive and can be in harmony with the others. By the end of therapy, ideally the client’s Self is now able to handle these psychological tasks independently.
 
Internal Family Systems has also been applied to couple’s therapy (Prouty & Protinsky, 2002). Different parts of each partner may become more dominant over time as their efforts come to seem necessary for the healthy functioning of the couple. For example, if one partner has problems with attention and organization, the other’s managerial part may become highly influential in the relationship. Or one partner may not be able to tolerate the other’s emotions and will try to proactively manage the other person’s life to avoid facing those emotions (Schwartz, 1995).​

For people who want training in using Internal Family Systems, training and information are available through the Internal Family Systems Institute, which was founded in 2000 by Richard Schwartz.
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1. Internal Family Systems (IFS) Training

Training to become certified as an Internal Family Systems practitioner is rigorous. In addition to at least a hundred hours of classroom time, therapists are expected to demonstrate their skills with parts work and to seek regular consultation with other Internal Family Systems therapists.

2. Internal Family Systems (IFS) Certification

To be permitted to describe oneself as an Internal Family Systems therapist, one must complete the first level of training offered by the Institute. Full certification requires completion of three levels of training.​

• Anderson, S. A., & Sabatelli, R. M. (2003). Family interaction: A multigenerational developmental perspective. Allyn and Bacon.
• Jung, C. G. (1935/1968). Analytical psychology: Its theory and practice: The Tavistock Lectures. Routledge.
• Prouty, A. M., & Protinsky, H. O. (2002). Feminist-informed internal family systems therapy with couples. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 1(3), 21–36.
• Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal family systems therapy. Guilford Press.
• Schwartz, R. C. (2013). Moving from acceptance toward transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS). Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(8), 805-816.
• Williams, J. C., & Lynn, S. J. (2011). Acceptance: An historical and conceptual review. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 30, 5–56.