Presence: Meaning, Benefits, & Theory
Presence is the awareness of what is happening around you and inside you. Psychological research says presence is an asset, but it’s becoming a rarity.
*This page may include affiliate links; that means we earn from qualifying purchases of products. |
Every once in a while, I am surprised by how easily I can be taken out of the present moment. But really, these moments are happening all the time. Perhaps it’s the sudden realization that I’ve got headphones on but I haven’t taken in anything I was hearing and now an entirely different song is playing. Or maybe it’s when I hardly remember the last mile of my commute home; somehow, I made it to my front door– |
I’m convinced that these moments are so routine that we hardly notice them accumulating throughout the day. In fact, it might be easier to really zero in on the moments when we are fully present—because those are actually rarer. In the 21st century, being fully in the present moment is becoming something of a Herculean feat, and we live in a state of near-constant distraction. So let’s learn about the importance and benefits of presence.
Are You a Therapist, Coach, or Wellness Entrepreneur?
Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to
Grow Your Wellness Business Exponentially!
✓ Save hundreds of hours of time ✓ Earn more $ faster
✓ Boost your credibility ✓ Deliver high-impact content
What Is Presence? (A Definition)
This kind of intentional noticing can help me be more present. Presence to our own experience is sometimes simple and straightforward, but it is often effortful, requiring intentionality and deliberate focus (Bugental, 1992). Perhaps this is why mindfulness and yoga classes have proliferated in recent years: Most of us need help and instruction in getting back into our bodies and our lived experiences.
At the same time, we can also think about presence as an interpersonal behavior—how attuned we are to another person (Stelter, 2014). You can bet that as a therapist, I think about this aspect of presence a lot too. Therapy is (hopefully!) a space where the therapist is always present to and accepting of what the clients share. Without presence, it is hard to feel safe showing who you really are, and on some level this extends to all social interactions, not just therapy.
Psychologists have also tried to break down the concept of presence into its key parts. For example, presence might consist of being physically present, being involved, and being real (Childs, 2007). This definition is helpful in that it reminds us that just one or two of these factors is not enough. For example, when somebody is present in the room but they are not being honest about how they’re feeling, their presence is not complete.
Video: Presence: Meaning, Benefits, & Tips
This could include noticing when we fall into familiar patterns and instead asking ourselves whether these behaviors are what the situation truly calls for (Varela, 1996). For example, therapists are trained to look for and respond to certain emotional, cognitive, and behavioral cues that clients may demonstrate. While we also learn specific ways to respond to those cues from clients, there is no simple formula for which response to use; we have to consider all sorts of factors in the moment before deciding how to respond.
Lastly, you can also think of presence as wholehearted acceptance of what the moment brings (Heidegger, 2001). Instead of resisting what is happening or checking out mentally, we receive the moment as it unfolds.
Opposite of Presence
The opposite of presence is absence in some way from the present moment or from the people you are with. This can range from being momentarily distracted to being fully dissociated from what is happening around you. Earlier I argued that some kind of absence is the norm in our lives, and I stand by that. It is hard, and getting harder, to maintain attention to what is physically happening around us without wandering off into our phones, our plans for next week, or even just the sound of that car passing while our friend is talking.
Benefits of Presence
There are many benefits of being present. For example, one study found that when people are more mindful of the present moment, they experience fewer stressful events and less stress in moments that are challenging (Donald et al., 2016). This suggests that mindfulness is associated with greater abilities to recognize and manage our emotions. After all, our emotions are less powerful and less upsetting if we can see them coming, understand why they are here, and stay with them instead of turning away.
The study above is just one of many to find that what psychologists call “present-moment awareness” is associated with better psychological health, less stress, and better mood (Brown et al., 2007; Weinstein et al., 2009). Psychologically speaking, it is truly advantageous to be as alert to and accepting of what is happening in the moment as possible. To do anything else makes life more difficult.
Presence of Love
Theory of Presence
Second, our presence depends on how able we are to use our senses to take the world in. Here I think of the research indicating that people who have not slept well are at increased risk of getting in a car accident; part of the reason for this, I would conjecture, is that their brains and bodies are too depleted to take in enough information, or pay close enough attention, to keep them safe.
Finally, our presence is reliant on how much we can interact with and control our environments. Simply put, a world that you cannot engage with will not hold your attention that much. Think of the last time you had to sit through a long lecture: How much easier would it have been to stay present if there was the expectation that you would ask questions, discuss a key point with the person sitting next to you, or share the key ideas from the talk with somebody else later? When our world feels interactive and invites our engagement, we are more present.
Process of Becoming Present
These brief interventions are, in my experience, typical of the amount of support people need to be more present. Simply listening to a meditation app, or taking a walk around town without your phone or headphones, can be enough to awaken you to what else is happening that normally escapes your notice. If you would like another example of this kind of intervention, I recommend trying out the brief exercise in the video below:
Video: A Lesson on Presence
Presence in Therapy
Presence in therapy is powerfully described by people who study Buddhism and how its teachings can impact the therapeutic relationship. Therapists who listen without attachment to a particular outcome and try their very best to simply witness and affirm their clients’ experiences seem to be some of the most effective helpers out there (Gehart & McCollum, 2007).
However, this approach is difficult for most people, including most therapists, to maintain. After all, we naturally hope to hear the “right” thoughts and feelings come from our clients, as well as to see them choose behaviors that we think will serve them best. This may be why Buddhist psychologists advocate for “compassionate witnessing” rather than any focus on fixing or changing their clients. Strong therapeutic presence means accepting where the client is, showing the client that they are heard and validated exactly where they are, and then giving them space to move toward change from a place of feeling heard and seen (Gehart & McCollum, 2007).
Practicing Presence
Practicing presence usually takes the form of some kind of mindfulness technique. People who practice these techniques become better at distancing themselves from their emotions: They are less likely to see the emotions as permanent or indicating something essential about who they are (McEvoy et al., 2017). They pay attention more readily and have better awareness of, and distance from, their own thought patterns. In other words, practicing presence can be a key component of improving one’s psychological well-being.
Presence-Based Coaching
Quotes on Presence
- “When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” — Thich Nhat Hanh
- “Presence is not some exotic state that we need to search for or manufacture. In the simplest terms, it is the felt sense of wakefulness, openness, and tenderness that arises when we are fully here and now with our experience.” — Tara Brach
- “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” — Eckhart Tolle
- “Life is available only in the present moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Articles Related to Presence
Books Related to Presence
Final Thoughts on Presence
Presence, or the ability to be aware of and attuned to what is happening in the moment as it unfolds, is a challenging but powerful skill to develop and harness. I hope this article inspires you to think a bit about when you are present versus absent in your life; perhaps some of the problems you face can be effectively dealt with by increasing your presence in the moment.
Don’t Forget to Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to
Grow Your Wellness Business Exponentially!
References
- Brown, K. W., Ryan, R. M., & Creswell, J. D. (2007). Mindfulness: Theoretical foundations and evidence for its salutary effects. Psychological Inquiry, 18(4), 211–237.
- Bugental, J. F. (1992). The art of the psychotherapist. WW Norton & Company.
- Childs, D. (2007). Mindfulness and the psychology of presence. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 80(3), 367–376.
- Donald, J. N., Atkins, P. W., Parker, P. D., Christie, A. M., & Ryan, R. M. (2016). Daily stress and the benefits of mindfulness: Examining the daily and longitudinal relations between present-moment awareness and stress responses. Journal of Research in Personality, 65, 30–37.
- Gehart, D. R., & McCollum, E. E. (2007). Engaging suffering: towards a mindful re-visioning of family therapy practice. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(2), 214–226.
- Heidegger, M. (2001). The Zollikon seminars (M. Boss, Ed.). (F. Mayr & R. Askay, Trans.). Northwestern University Press. (Original work published 1987)
- McEvoy, P. M., Graville, R., Hayes, S., Kane, R. T., & Foster, J. K. (2017). Mechanisms of change during attention training and mindfulness in high trait-anxious individuals: A randomized controlled study. Behavior Therapy, 48(5), 678–694.
- Nasser, J. D., & Przeworski, A. (2017). A comparison of two brief present moment awareness training paradigms in high worriers. Mindfulness, 8, 775–787.
- Noon, R. (2018). Presence in executive coaching conversations – the C² Model. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching & Mentoring, 16, 4–20.
- Sheridan, T. B. (1992). Musings on telepresence and virtual presence. Presence: Teleoperators and Virtual Environments, 1(1), 120–125.
- Silsbee, D. (2008). Presence-based coaching: Cultivating self-generative leaders through mind, body, and heart. John Wiley & Sons.
- Silverstein, R. G., Brown, A. C. H., Roth, H. D., & Britton, W. B. (2011). Effects of mindfulness training on body awareness to sexual stimuli: implications for female sexual dysfunction. Psychosomatic Medicine, 73(9), 817–825.
- Sommers, F. G. (2013). Mindfulness in love and love making: A way of life. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 28(1–2), 84–91.
- Stelter, R. (2014). Third-generation coaching–striving towards value-oriented and collaborative dialogues. International Coaching Psychology Review, 9(1), 33–48.
- Varela, F. J. (1996). Neurophenomenology: A methodological remedy for the hard problem. Journal of Consciousness Studies, 3(4), 330–349.
- Weinstein, N., Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2009). A multi-method examination of the effects of mindfulness on stress attribution, coping, and emotional well-being. Journal of Research in Personality, 43(3), 374–385.
Are You a Therapist, Coach, or Wellness Entrepreneur?
Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to Grow Your Wellness Business Fast!
